[fijiisland]

Now that I am in my 40s and fully understand that I was emotionally abused by my parents, but no one even knows it was takikng place, not even them.

I had selective mutism as a child, I have always had severe social anxiety disorder, panic attack disorder, depression, slightly ocd, and many more.

I hate everyone and everything. I am sick of waiting to live. I am getting old and there is so much I want to do. I have no friends anymore. they all hate me, want nothing to do with me. my kids even hate me. my ex husband was also emotionally abusive to me!!

He also hit me a few times. And now my parents are STILL abusive to me. My father punched me in the face about 6 months ago. Why?? because I took my childs phone away from them. So my child screamed and he came running and YELLED AT ME!! I get in trouble when they scream!!! And I was sent to my room at 45 years old and told that I was kicked out!!!

they give me evil looks all day long, I try to avoid them because my day will be even more ruined if I have to look at them. Being around them makes me not accomplish anything.

As soon as they leave the house I get a burst of energy to do things and I franctically try to clean and do things while they are gone hoping they dont' come home.

aS soon as they get home I am back in my bed in pajamas laying down all day and sleeping and accomplishing nothing!

I can't get a better job, I need to make money but I can't. I can't even wear makeup around them because they will LOOK at me.

[little turtle]

fijiisland----I am sorry that you are in such a difficult situation....you really sound stressed..