Dating after Narcissistic Abuse..Need help!

I decided to finally pull the plug on my abusive relationship of almost 2 years, and pressed criminal charges October 18th 2015. During his 5 months in jail, I've finally de-programmed my self esteem issues and gotten my triggers under control. However directly following "the loss" of my ex, a covert narcissist snuck his way in when I was at my most vulnerable. I'm now in no contact with either of them, but I also am completely isolating myself.

I met a nice gentleman in a healthy way (in person happened to click). I feel my self doubt of being "damaged" and "not good enough" returning. This is because as much as I want to go to know this guy, I feel like he may be too "normal" to understand me if I let him get to know me. He tried talking on the phone, but I prefer to text due to severe phone anxiety. I don't know how how to explain this to someone "normal." I even called off a date because my social anxiety got the best of me. He seems to have stopped trying, probably thinking I'm not interested.

This guy seems great and seems to be a potential healthy partner. But how do I tell him that Im Not ready to talk to someone on a more serious level? (within my own self esteem and anxiety and PTSD of my abuse)

A male friend of mine advised me not to talk about the abuse as being part of it. I just want to send him a text telling him I'm interested but I'm not ready to spend time with someone new as I am working on healing myself (esp. Dealing with two narcissistic relationships back to back). Knowing that I am an N-Magnet already, I'm very aware of people's energy, etc. I worry that a "normal" guy wouldn't want me. But I don't want a psychopath in my life again.

Anyways, how do I tell this guy I think he's awesome but I'm just not ready to hang out yet?

Thank you all <3

Hi.

First and foremost congratulations on getting out of a negative abusive relationship and deciding to honour yourself…could not have been an easy thing.

It sounds as though you are still very raw from the past abuse, and understandably very tentative about making new ties. I don't think it's nessessary to lay yourself bare to this new romantic interest, maybe keep it casual and simply ask him out for coffee or lunch and take it from there. There are many lovely potential partners out there, take your time and enjoy the journey.

You just told us what you should tell him. "You're awesome but I'm just not ready to hang out yet" You seem to be feeling guilty and you have no reason to be. You are a strong woman who has every right to focus on herself now. I say claim it, give yourself all the time and attention you need and deserve. Best of luck!