[alli_kathrine]

I was abused as a child by a close family member between the ages of 5 -15. I have also been abused by several other people through out my life. I never really had any interest in having a sexual relationship with anyone. I have in fact associated sex with pain, both physical and emotional, as well as shame and humiliation. But since I started therapy 8 months ago, I have become more aware of my feelings both physically and emotionally and started having desires I haven't had before. Yet I still see Sex the same way as something to fear and be ashamed of. How do I bring this up with my T (a male T) without coming across as 1) a total nutcase 2) like I'm coming on to him and 3) like I'm a scared 5 year old little girl?

Has anyone else had similar issues? Any Advise or Ideas?

[Bolivar83]

I have so much shame associated with sex, that it is still a challenge to talk about this in therapy. But I've been with my therapist for a while, and built up enough trust to feel comfortable to creep around the edges of sex discussions. I believe it does add another element when the therapist is male (like my abusers), but it has also been kind of therapeutic to have positive, non-threatening experience with a man.

Could you tell him you are uncomfortable discussing this, your fears about being misinterpreted, feeling afraid, vulnerable? Perhaps you could explore this over time, as you build feelings of trust; perhaps enough time would give you a better feeling about whether or not you could trust him with this?

When it felt too overwhelming (after some traumatic incidents), I did find a female therapist to cover some of the issues I felt too vulnerable discussing with my male T, until I grew to trust him a little more.

I hope you find some solutions, get some useful feedback... hope you will share what you find helpful, the route you choose to take...

Take care