[leomama]

I had a very triggering phone call with my dad today. I'm trying to follow the thriving after abuse model instead of the survivor model but I don't know where else to post this.

During the course of the conversation my narcissistic father put me down and insulted me and my narcissistic mother got competitive so I ended up hanging up.

I feel emotionally crushed right now.

I am in an inheritance law suit and it's very difficult. I can't talk about it so I'm trying very hard to just talk about the emotional impact it's having on me. I broke down in tears during a legal proceeding on Monday.

My father totally discredited me for taking my daughter to the doctors for a medical problem and accused me of turning her into a hypochondriac .

I'm feeling devastated right now.

As you know my daughter has some mental health dx and I'm trying to get her into treatment. I asked my dad about family history today and he went off about his crazy mother. When I asked him if there was an actual dx he showed his wounds.

I feel compassion for my dad and yet he hurts me.

It's so complicated.

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[nicoleflynn]

A book that helped me (and others) immensely: Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud.

The book that saved my life: THe Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans.

abusive people are angry and miserable and need a constant supply of putting others down and hearing them explain themselves. They are emotional vampires. You can stop that. Let them know you will not have a conversation unless they speak to you with respect. The usual reply will be more anger and denial of their abuse. That is THEIR stuff, and you can hang up or walk away. We all need boundaries. Abusers don't like it when we call them on their behavior (just like a spoiled child).

You wouldn't let anyone throw rocks at you but that is what abusers are doing. It is okay to show compassion, but to not allow him/anyone to violate you.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

A book that helped me (and others) immensely: Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud.

Thanks will look that up

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[Bill3]

Good job hanging up the phone!

Good job putting an end to his abusive comments.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Bill3

Good job hanging up the phone!

Good job putting an end to his abusive comments.

I hung up because my mom got competitive not because of his remarks. They are tame compared to my mother's psychopathy .

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