[leomama]

Today I was reading the scriptures about marriage, in Ephesians, and I had to close the bible. We read daily scriptures as part of our religion and those scriptures just reminded me of how abysmally my ex husband failed me.

At this point in my life I can not imagine a husband who would carry out those scriptures in regards to me. I think I am soured on this whole Christian marriage thing.

I used to pray for the right man for me and I simply just don't care anymore. I'm more concerned with becoming self sufficient, on my own, which is really hard.

My brother is dependent on his girlfriend, and therefore can be self sufficient.

Me? I have no one to depend on and have to do it myself.

I really want to do that however I also have a 16 year old that depends on me.

Its hard for me to explain the reality of my life to anyone.

Yeah, I'm not feeling too good about myself right now.