[PumpkinPieHead]

I feel like I am missing out. I go to college and I observed a lot of students in the student centre today sitting around and talking. I literally have no one at school I can call a friend. I wanna know how they do this. I've always been an oddball due to the dysfunctional and abusive household I grew up in. I am on a mission to regain what was stolen/never available to me in the first place due to my upbringing.
One of my classmates asked me how old I am recently. Apparently I carry myself like I'm in my 40's. I'm in my 20's. Awesome.

[Skeezyks]

Once, many years ago, when I was still in my 20's, a co-worker said to me: "You remind me of a little old man." To the extent I recall, I imagine I probably just laughed & we went on with our discussion. I didn't think about it again at all for many years. Then one day it suddenly occurred to me that she had hit on something.

I was an only child. And I grew up in an elderly extended family. Among the relatives I grew up with, the next youngest person to me was my mother. (Most of the relatives I grew up around had been born & raised in the late 1800's!) And my mother was heading toward middle age when I came along! So it makes a certain amount of sense that I might have reminded someone of an old person. Now, of course, I really am an old person.

I don't know what your living arrangements are, of course. But many years ago (again) when I was in college, I started out living at home with my parents. I hardly knew anyone. After the first couple of years or so, I guess it was, I moved into a dormitory on campus. That was the point at which I began to get to know people & could begin to sit around in the student center talking.

[AccioTheatre]

I have the same issue. I don't have any friends at school. I wasn't abused at home, but I was abused by my ex-boyfriend of 5 years and I was so severely bullied up until I graduated high school. I always hated the advice people gave of, "just relax and try to start a convo up with someone and see what your interests are." Like that's not how it really works when you have anxiety. I get upset sometimes too, but the way I get through it is telling myself I'm there to learn and I need to keep focus on my school work and not worry about making friends. Put yourself in a situation that makes you feel comfortable whether it be just focusing on your school work like I do, or if you are able to just walk up to people without anxiety go for it or join a club. Don't feel bad though about not having friends. Or sometimes I find that the best way to get involved is to find something that pertains to your major because that's where you will feel the most open and real with yourself and that will show with others around you.

[vintagexsoul]

I also experienced this in college. Detached and disconnected. For myself its because I have schizoid personality disorder due to my up bringing, the abuse and dysfunction. Its really unfortunate that this is a product of such a childhood. But that doesn't mean you can learn social skills and how to interact. Try reading books about it. I'm sure they will help. I'm reading one on overcoming social anxiety (which I also suffer from) and gaining social confidence. Try attending clubs where you can meet like minded people too. I did that as well in college, even if I was shy and sat away from everyone else during meetings. Afterward I would cautiously mingle until I felt comfortable.

College are some of the most fantastic years of your life. I know you'll make the most of this time. And really, I'm not in contact with anyone I knew in college...not because I dislike them, but people grow apart. People always come and go. That's just life. For me, anyway. I truly hope you can make a deeper connection with people.

[Inthetrees]

Originally Posted by PumpkinPieHead

I feel like I am missing out. I go to college and I observed a lot of students in the student centre today sitting around and talking. I literally have no one at school I can call a friend. I wanna know how they do this. I've always been an oddball due to the dysfunctional and abusive household I grew up in. I am on a mission to regain what was stolen/never available to me in the first place due to my upbringing.
One of my classmates asked me how old I am recently. Apparently I carry myself like I'm in my 40's. I'm in my 20's. Awesome.

You are in a place were you can sit and wonder, and continue to, for the rest of your life...

Or you can take a terrifying step out of your comfort zone and try joining some groups for socializing. If you're having a hard time finding friends on your own, activity groups are the next best thing. People can get to know you (and vice versa) in a more comfortable situation. Way easier than risky moments trying to chat with strangers if you aren't a people person.

Don't regret missing the chances you could be taking.

Good luck!