[TishaBuv]

There are different ways to cope with abusive, controlling people.

I learned to appear innocent, while being 'bad' when out of sight. The 'being bad' was probably done just to rebel, because I didn't want to be controlled.

I was only verbally, emotionally abused. So I knew my 'hell to pay' would come in the form of loud rants with hurtful insults.

My oldest sister made messing with our mom a lot of fun when I got older, and we became friends, once I was in college. She is much older and left home when I was a kid.

One time, we were in a superstore with mom. She was being a B, and we ran away from her in the store. We could hear her screaming all over the store for us. We were middle aged women, hiding and giggling. Then, mom's mood turned into a wicked melt down in the store. She screamed at us like we were bad little children. Everyone was staring. It was so strange, but hilarious to us. Although we could not laugh at the moment she flipped out. No Sudden Moves.

I know there is something wrong with my mom, definitely some disorder. And what did that teach me to be? A rebellious brat who pretends to be 'good'.

It's so complicated. Just more strange relationship dynamics in a dysfunctional family.