[wisewoman]

Sept and I started an inadvertent conversation about animal abuse in our childhoods. This is such a big one for me. I watched my only friends being toturted and murdered. They had no value. The kittens on the farm were cloroformed or shot. Same with dogs. My little dog died and they threw her with the garbage. I would watch as my mother would get stimulated killing the animals. When I was very young I remember my large family all had to help with the butchering of chickens. At 4-5 I am watching these headless birds flying everywhere with blood spurting. I had to pluck. When I was older they would take the birds and hang them udsidedown and slit their throats and let the blood drip into buckets beneith. The aniamls were my friends. As I was beaten and tortured, neglected and sexualized, they were always there for me. And then she would kill them. Dogs, cats, sheep, goats, you name it. Managed to save a pet banty once by bringing it to the neighbor's. I used to lie awake at night with my dog and her puppies in my bed. I was about 11 and by now she had taken to breeding and selling dogs. I would pray so hard that my dog and her puppies and I would all die. So while my critters give me much joy, there is an awareness within that these places of pain exist. It makes me a very good pet owner though. I am accused of spoiling them more then the kids, Jealous kids! A lot of what my mother did to the animals was to show me her power and to take away the life I felt within. Sorry if this is just too horrible for you guys, seemed to come up yesterday. Unfortunately too common I believe.

[SweetCrusader]

That is so sad! I'm sorry that you and your pets went through such horrible things

(((((((((((((((((((wisewoman))))))))))))))))))

SweetCrusader

"Blessed be the cracked, for they let in the light"
-Author Unknown

[wisewoman]

thanks for your comfort. Good thing about ptsd, I could write about it without the feelings. Actually, I think it haunts me less because I do have power now to make decisions about the lives of the animals in my care.

[SweetCrusader]

I can see how that would help. It doesn't take away what happened, but it maybe able to help take the edge off your pain knowing that now you have the ability to protect and care for the pets you love. I'm glad that you have that now. And I think it says a lot about a person when they are able to love animals the way it sounds like you do.

"Blessed be the cracked, for they let in the light"
-Author Unknown

[wisewoman]

It took a few days but writing that post triggered me and I feel very vulnerable about it and about sharing horrible stuff. Like it makes me horrible?

[Fuzzybear]

I feel that way too a lot, like sharing horrible stuff makes me horrible. ((((((((wisewoman))))))))

[SeptemberMorn]

You guys, sharing the awful stuff that happened to you as a kid doesn't make you horrible. It's the people that made you watch at such a young age that are horrible.

It wasn't too long ago that I posted about my granddaughter seeing animals killed in front of her. It can really mess up a kid's mind!

Thankfully, when my pets were killed, I wasn't around to watch, but when the Old ***** (mom's mom) killed my two chickens, I was sure expected to eat them! Not on your life! What coldness of heart, wickedness and treachery!!! The Old ***** got up before I did on a Saturday morning and slaughtered pullets that my mom had given me for Easter, she plucked them, cooked them and had them in the refrigerator before I got up.

When I went out to go feed them, they were gone. I came in screaming to my mom and asked if I could go out of the yard to go look. I can't believe she let me go! She knew all the time they were in the fridge! After I had gone around the block a couple of times and had asked the neighbors if they had seen my chicks, my mom finally told me where they were. That night, I was expected to have chicken dinner! If my mom hadn't intervened, the Old ***** would have beat me for refusing dinner.

All of my pets throughout childhood wound up missing. I have no doubt the Old ***** had something to do with each one of them! Strange that I have never had another pet mysteriously disappear since I've been out on my own!

This is just a small sampling of how this evil "THING" lived her life! May she rot in Hell!!





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[wisewoman]

Sorry for your wicked grandmother. I am not sure why people are capable of such cruelty. But I know it's real. See it on the news everyday. Thanks for your support.

[wisewoman]

Thanks fuzzy. It doesn't make us horrible. Just gives us pain.

[SeptemberMorn]

Oh, it's more real than many care to admit. Because you and I have used our experiences and turned them into positives, it has made us understanding and has brought out the gentleness in ourselves. What I can't understand is the "other half" that turns wicked, also. From what I know about the Old *****, she was treated the same way. I can't forgive her because she KNEW better!! She knew better than to molest me and all her other 14 grandchildren! Hell! She lived with her Bible in her hands, sick, twisted *****!




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[wisewoman]

That's exactly it, she was sick and twisted. Sounds like she and my mother were in the same club. I am moving forward with developing new beliefs about myself to replace what she instilled in me. It takes time but I feel like I can do it. I am doing it. My depression is lifting and I am working hard at framing my life in a way that I don't feel like I am punished if I am not perfect. When my kid died and my son had cancer I was convinced it was because I wasn't good enough. Man the damage these lunatics do. So, I know this is the wrong place for this but guess what I did today? Friends gave me a big old hand made rabbit Hutch and I took the bottom off because they used hardware cloth instead of 1/2 by 1 inch. I think I will fix it and give it to a friend who needs more cages. I love recycling and making old things usable. You are my special friend Sept. Thank you

[SeptemberMorn]

Hey, there's nothing says you can't bring a ray of sunshine into a dark and painful place.

I've been looking for a 36X36 rabbit cage to put a pair of doves in. EVERYbody is trying to sell me a hutch! LOL

As for being your friend... it's my honor. I think you're pretty special yourself.





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>