[lal81]

I am a csa survivor and I have been having a lot of flashbacks lately. Some are of things that I do remember and others that I do not remember the whole thing the way that I am seeing it in these flashbacks. But anyways I am an upcoming college freshman and I have been accepted to a research program for this summer. But the thing is that a professor chose me to do a project about how BDD influences sex. My question is with these flashbacks, would it be a good idea for me to do this? Especially since the professor is a male psychologist.
I think that the fact that he is a psychologist is good because he will know when I really need a break. He might even be able to help me overcome the flashbacks. But he is a male and I am a female and my abuser was my stepfather, and I'm not to sure that my dad didn't sexually abuse me when I was younger too.
I feel like there may be a reason why I was chosen for this but I have no idea what I should do. Any advice would be great. Also there is another undergraduate that will be working with us (it's his research) but he is a male too.

[gmts]

Can you please explain what "BDD" is? Otherwise, just from a gut feeling I would rather not do it. I don't know what your options are and what it would mean for your career if you refuse to do it. OTOH, it *might* be a good way to get "through" it, instead of running away from it. It might be a chance to "reframe" it now from an adult's perspective, since you are now not dependant any longer and you can defend yourself. It would be a bit of a gamble, I think.

When you applied for the study, did you tell them you are a csa survivor? Once you start, do you feel like you can easiy quit if necessary? If you didn't answer "Yes" to both of these questions then my recommendation would be not to do it.

During two different college summers, I worked as a YMCA camp counselor. Is part of the motivation to earn money? I am glad you are considering carefully......

[lal81]

There were only 8 of us accepted for the program. The professor chose me for this study. He was the only one to choose a student. There is another study that I could do. I just don't know of it should chicken out

[Hairball]

Well, on one hand they might need your perspective for the project, and on the other hand it may be detrimental to your health.

If your instinct/heart is telling you not too, then don't.

Also could u maybe talk to your professor and let him know that u are a survivor and would love to do this but if it gets to be too much for you bow out?

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

When you applied for the study, did you tell them you are a csa survivor? Once you start, do you feel like you can easiy quit if necessary? If you didn't answer "Yes" to both of these questions then my recommendation would be not to do it.

I meant to say--don't do the study unless the professor knows you are a csa survivor.

If your participation in this study puts your mental health at risk, then don't do the study. Participate in the other study instead. Always best to put your mental health first. I see too many risk factors involved that would justify your participation in the study about BDD.
(BDD - body dysmorphic disorder)

[lal81]

I decided not to do it. Thanks for all of your help!