[Kaioceane]

Hello, I'm a 19 year old girl who's has been resenting her parents lately and needs some answers.My parents have constantly made fun of me throughout my life and I was wondering if I was overacting.

The biggest thing here is that my parents constantly call me stupid. If I even make a tiny mistake, they act like I'm an idiot and go out of their way to prove me wrong and make me feel dumb. Like if I ask a question or ask for help, they act like I'm the dumbest person on the planet.They do this all the time and I've told my mom how much it hurts me but she continues to do it anyway. I try not to react to them when they do this because if I do they act like I'm unreasonable for being upset.

It hurts me a lot because I am sensitive, have low self esteem and also I'm pretty sure I have adhd and suffer academically because of this. When I was in first grade, I was supposed to be screened for adhd but my parents never took me for whatever reason.13 years later and I still have the same problems (doing homework assignment, focusing during lectures). I was supposed to be screened again recently but my father threw away the paperwork for it :/

I would go months on punishment without any tv or any electronic because I got a C on a report card for missing homework assignment despite getting good test grades.

My parents also make fun of me for being socially awkward. Throughout middle school and high school I had difficulty making friends because of anxiety , so my parents would tell me I was mean and basically laugh about me not having any instead of, you know, supporting me. It has gotten so bad to the point where my little sister has tagged along in making fun of me. Speaking of which, they always compare me to my little sister is and talk about how much better she is than me.

They also poke fun of physical insecurities that they know I'm super anxious about (my mother pretty much called me fat in the store the other day but doesn't understand why I'm so insecure) When I was younger, my parents would yell at me for making them look bad when we had guests over because I would often hide out of fear. I was also bullied from time to time but my parents would never really do anything about it. The teachers would either step in or my they would yell at me for not tell them sooner.

They (primarily my mom though) also love to go around and tell my personal business to other people. For instance my mom has told a few people, without my permission, that art inspiration am a lesbian. I told her not to this but she doesn't understand why I don't want her to do this.

Honestly, im dying to go back to university because I don't have to deal with them as much while I'm there. When I'm at home, I feel trapped. Like I'm unable to make decisions by myself. I feel bad about thinking these thoughts about them and would be terrified to know what they would think if they knew I was thinking this. I've only had a beating once and I had a pretty decent childhood (I got expensive gifts and my parents took me on trips to Disney world), so I feel a little guilty about it but my parents truly make me feel bad about myself.

I'm still pretty dependent on them because I'm too anxious to do anything by myself (drive, go to the store etc) and it sucks. What do you guys think? Is this abuse or am I overreacting.?

[nicoleflynn]

Making fun and calling you names is....abuse...verbal abuse...1 beating is one too many...physical abuse. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans is a wonderfully helpful tool. Do yu have any adult that you trust and can talk to? Can you afford to see a mental health professional?

[Spiral2018]

You poor darling, what a terrible time you've had. Your parents have treated you extremely unfairly, but you can go on to survive this and flourish. It won't happen overnight and nor will it be easy, but the fact that you know what is happening to you and are reaching out is such a good sign. To call a child stupid over and over and to betray their privacy is abuse, most definitely. You say you are at university.They will have a student counselling service there. Make contact and see if they can counsell you or refer you on to a good counsellor outside the university. You need somebody on your side, somebody to support you while you work through this and find your way into adult life without the fear your parents have dumped on you. I wish you the very best with your efforts.