[Depressed-Fiance]

I believe that my ex-fiancé is a Narcissist after some of the traits and behaviours she displayed throughout our relationship.

Shortly after we started dating she added me on Facebook. But because I had photos etc. that I hadn't removed of my ex girlfriend at that time on my Facebook, she unfriended me and made me delete all of the photos before she would add me on Facebook.

I didn't think too much of it at this point in our relationship but looking back I realise that this was the start of her controlling behaviour.

I suppose what I am trying to ask is, should that have been taking as an immediate red flag at that point or was she right to make me delete the photos?

Thanks for any answers.

[Shazerac]

Unfriending you until you removed photos does sound a bit controlling. On the other hand I don't know if I would be comfortable if my partner had a lot of photos of an ex on Facebook. I really don't know enough details about your relationship to make any informed advice.

[Depressed-Fiance]

Originally Posted by Shazerac

Unfriending you until you removed photos does sound a bit controlling. On the other hand I don't know if I would be comfortable if my partner had a lot of photos of an ex on Facebook. I really don't know enough details about your relationship to make any informed advice.

Thanks for your swift reply there, it is appreciated, valued and helpful.

Ok, maybe I exaggerated slightly, there weren't many photos of my ex at the time on FB, just a few but still enough to 'annoy' my ex.

Fast forward a few months after this incident and I met a favourite singer of mine at a concert I attended and added a photo of myself an the singer to Facebook. My ex saw it and got all offended accusing me of fancying her and made me feel guilty for adding the photo.

Because she made me feel guilty I offered to delete the post.

[NP_Complete]

Shortly after I started dating my husband, he wanted me to burn all of the photos and letters from my previous boyfriend. I reluctantly agreed to do it because I was in love. Looking back after 27 years, this was a huge red flag. One of many that I wish I had been mature enough to see. This is definitely controlling behavior.

[Depressed-Fiance]

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

Shortly after I started dating my husband, he wanted me to burn all of the photos and letters from my previous boyfriend. I reluctantly agreed to do it because I was in love. Looking back after 27 years, this was a huge red flag. One of many that I wish I had been mature enough to see. This is definitely controlling behavior.

I'm so sorry to hear that you were in a similar type of relationship to me.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing of course and I hope for your own sake and sanity that you can heal from your husbands controlling behaviour.

If you want to talk further then feel free to PM me.

[Kruick]

Read my recent post on Gaslighting.