[Loveday1661]

My parents divorced when I was two and my mother married my step-dad when I was four. They had my half sister and I grew up with my step-dad as a main parental figure. I refer to him as "dad" and go to all of his family gatherings. The concept that we are not technically related is ignored and I have always treated him as a dad.

When I was around 14, I was getting ready for school one morning and noticed a green box shaped figure outside of the bathroom window. I was young and flustered and ran to my room. After a few minutes I told my dad (step-dad) what I saw and he quickly rushed out to see. He came back in and told me that no one was out there and the window was quite high up (it is one of the small rectangular ones that sit above the shower) and would be a difficult reach for someone. I still insisted that he nail a towel over it, which he willingly did.

After about six months, I decided that my fear was irrational. To counter my uncomfortableness, I took it upon myself to clearly look at the window every time I was in the bathroom. Anyone peeping in would probably be put off by someone staring back at them. Eventually my paranoia faded.

A couple years later, when I was 16, I was home with my dad (step-dad) and, after talking to him about my day, I went to go take a bath. The water was running and I was undressed when I looked up in the bathroom window to see a phone taking a picture of me. I quickly shut to shower curtains, blocking the camera's view. I would have gone out once again to tell my dad (step-dad), but I recognized the black iphone 5 with a green and black case that I saw and I recognized his hands.

I drained to water, brushed my teeth, and headed to my room. After a sleepless night, I decided I would confront him through text the next day after school. What deterred me from this plan was my mom asking me that morning if I had noticed anything wrong with my dad last night. The backyard gate had been left open and she had found his phone outside. This seemed to portray a rushed, embarrassed accident. I told her I didn't know. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. He was my dad and I loved him and I wanted to think that it was a mistake. That we could forget about it and move on without confrontation.

Less than a year later, I'm 17 now and am unable to ignore the shifting hardwood floor outside bathroom door. Tonight, my little sister and mom were asleep and I was in the bath. I heard the slight noices. This is the third time in the past three months. The first couple times I noticed movement under the door, so this time I paid attention and didn't miss the camera of my old phone being pointed to take picture.

I began to remember my dad's push to have towel blocking the window removed. His inclination to stay up later when I took a bath later. A few uncomfortable topics he would bring up. I can't gnore these things any longer.

If it were any other person other that my dad I wouldn't hesitate to report it. I know my mom would trust me if I told her, but it could have repercussions. I know she would certainly get a divorce, which is costly. We are not well off financially and my family is completely dependent on two incomes.

I am graduating, but my sister is heading into high school. She will be the one most directly influenced by my actions. I don't want her to have to deal with the divorce of her parents, the financial issues, and the impact of the divorce on the other half of her family. I don't know if my step-dad's family will isolate her afterwards.

I am also concerned for her well being. I don't know if he will continue these actions after I'm gone except with her as the target. But technically, my step-dad and I are not related, which could be his justification for the act and my sister might be safe. I'm considering holding out until she graduates.

I'm not the type to keep silent, but in this situation staying quiet might turn out to be tactful. I'm starting to become overwhelmed with the whole thing, and while I have never done an online forum thing in the past, I felt the need to reach out. A small part of me wonders if I should get physical proof of the act and I'm considering placing a hidden camera outside of the bathroom door. Or if I can find my old phone that he is using, maybe I can convince myself that my actions are justified.

At the end of the day, I feel betrayed and confused and don't know how to deal with this. Thank you for reading through my rant.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Loveday: I'm sorry you are having to deal with such a difficult & complicated problem. There are so many things to be considered here that I wonder if it might not be helpful if you could spend some time with a counselor or therapist with whom you could talk all of this through & come to some conclusions as to an appropriate strategy. Perhaps even talking with someone on-line or over the phone might help especially if it was someone who is experienced in helping teens deal with these sorts of issues. PsychCentral has a list of hotline & help phone numbers. One of them might be one you could call. Here's a link to the listing:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/telepho...nd-help-lines/

I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. May I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

[kindachaotic]

First off, welcome to PC!
I believe your concerns are completely justified. The idea of a hidden camera is a great one, then you would have proof when you decide to confront him or tell your mom. Also if you could find your old phone that he's using to take pics of you maybe the pics would still be on there, more evidence.

Am so sorry you are having to deal with this from someone you considered a father figure. Also think your concerns for your younger sister are justified. Abusers usually don't stop these actions just because she is 'his' daughter. Statistics aren't in her favor for being safe from him.

Take care of yourself & take precautions.
(((Gentle hugs)))