[worknonit80]

I don’t really want to talk about this anymore. I feel that at this point it’s growing futile. I’m forcing even writing at the moment. I want answers and advice, a solid plan. My friends and family have given suggestions and tell me to get out of this relationship. How does one get out when they have literally nothing to fall back on.
I am a well educated woman with a lot going on. I have a chronic illness that has made me so sick this year that I had to quit my job of five years to literally to just take a minute and get well. My partner at the time said do it, we will get thru. I had my own place and income just 4 months ago. I made a decision that has proved to be absolutely wrong. I didn’t want to move in with girlfriend because I knew that wd place more stress on our already stressed relations. At the time I knew she had an alcohol abuse problem where she drank a lot and wd take her anger out on me in the form of verbal attacks. Every time she drinks she has a behavior change. My partner is currently taking care of her dementia mom and has her 25 year old son living with her, due too him getting a DUI. She has a good career and is liked by many. I didn’t want to move into her house and she took offense to it. I said you have so much going on you do not need more stress and we only were seeing each other 5 months bybthis point. She resents the fact that I need space from her, even if it’s a walk around the block. She questions my alone time when I do actually get it. Currently I’m jobless and living with her. I had to have surgery to get better. She is paying literally for everything, my health coverage thru her work, my phone, my car insurance and my car. I feel incredibly indebted to her for all this help that she’s given me. I’ve never taken it for granted. I cook all the dinners, clean, take her mom to all her appointments and so much more. The problem arise when she wants to drink or go with her friend who has a major opiate addiction. This friend is so manipulative and has now accused me of false things. She literally has now drove a wedge in between us. Her friend made complete lies up about me and my partner knows they are not true and rediculous, but yet still wants to hang with this friend. They only time they hangout is to drink. SoI told her I don’t want any part of her friend anymore. I said she needs to get clean and stop the paranoia and lies. I know if any of my friends lied about my partner and I knew, And they were an addict Id say get clean or get out of my life. My partner still wants to be friends with her. She doesn’t seem to care about the disrespect her friend said about me when it was all lies. Her friend doesn’t like me because yes I’m on to her games. I don’t drink, I do no drugs at all. Which makes me a target I feel with my partner and her friend. Infact my partner has said ohhhh because you’re so perfect. I’m not perfect... far from it. I’d just rather lead a healthy sober life. ( I’ve never been addicted to anything but cigarettes). I do come from a family of alcoholics, my mom used to be but sobered up when I was young. My partner throws in my face constantly that I have a problem with her drinking because of my childhood. Thing is every partner I’ve had drank, but not like this to where they are mean and can’t control their drinking. I am literally stuck, financially stuck. She throws her the money she spends on my bills in my face acting like I shd bend to everything she desires. I’m losing myself... apart of me is dying everyday the more abuse she dishes out. I tried a couples therapist and I honestly can say they told me she needs extensive help, but in the mean time set me up with a counselor to talk too. They have not called her back for more therapy yet. I go to see my counselor to just vent and she wants me out of this.
My partner is extremely smart and actually just got a promotion as lead ER security guard. No one sees what I see. If they did... she would not of got her position. She says when I’m at work ALL I think about is you and coming home to you. She has made me her end all... happy, sad everything. I even suggested her getting into a hobbit. To which she angrily replies with what time?! She has nothing other then me as her support person. Tells me she loves me all day, but comes home and wants dinner made and everything to go just how she wants it. Any deviation from that routine causes her to lose her mind. She doesn’t want me to go see my family but knows she has to let me go. But proceeds to text me throughout the entire visit. She even texts me in the bathroom wondering when I’m coming back to her.
I’m desperate for some good advice. I can’t leave due too not having a job right now. I need to know how to cope to get thru. How do I do this without starting to truly feel like This is all my fault. Yesterday she said I ruined Christmas because I brought up her friend. I ruined Christmas. I’m ungrateful. It’s all about me. I’m controlling. Things I here every time we argue, which is a lot.
Any advice would be great and desperately needed. Thank you.

[NP_Complete]

I wish I had some advice for you. My situation was reversed. My abuser was the one with no job, except he didn't do much that was useful to me around the house. Could you stay with family for a while? When do you expect to go back to work? Could you do part time for a while?