[bellepoem118]

Hello? I don't really know how I'm supposed to start this. I guess I'll begin with the fact that I am a teenager so some people might automatically assume I'm just being dramatic or exaggerating. My parents are divorced and I live with my mother, however I used to see my father every few days and we would "hang out" I guess. I was never abused sexually. There was one incident where I was being annoying I guess and wanted to go back to my mother's house and he grabbed my arm so hard that he gave me bruises. I immediately told my mother and she reported it to Child Protective Services. I didn't see him for a month after that. I was 12 at the time so I didn't really have the option to not see him. After that, everything was fine. We had stupid arguments but nothing became that bad. I discovered that he had an girlfriend who was roughly four decades younger than him and about 4 years older than me. She was obviously a scam artist but he didn't believe me. He claimed I was just jealous that there was a new "woman" in his life, if you could even call her that. We had a massive argument and I didn't see him for three months after that. On the eve of my birthday, he had some type of pain in his body and his pills wouldn't control it. I found out from my mother he had bought some weed to try and suppress it. When I called him and confronted him, he used this pathetic motto that he lives by, "all you have to do is deny everything, even if they catch you in the act, deny it all until they realize you are right". I was then 13 so I could choose whether to see him or not. I chose not to. My step-father basically told me I had to forgive him. I went against my better judgement and tried to. A year went by. I thought he had changed. My parents had been fighting about money for my entire life. Even now, almost 7 years after they have been divorced, they still do. Anyway, my father was on the phone with his lawyer and I was also in the room watching a tv show. He kept telling my lawyer how my mother was a "***** who wants revenge on him" After he hung up I said "that's not true, if anything your the one who's angry because my mom is finally happy without you." He got mad at me and said "yeah what a role model living with a man she isn't even married to with you in the house. I swear one day I'll send someone over there and they will shoot all of you." I was shocked and screamed "what the hell is wrong with you" He said it was a joke. I said murder isn't funny. I was so angry and I told him to take me home. We were in the car and I pulled out my phone secretly and tried to record it. I asked why he would ever want to murder anyone. He went off on a rant and I pulled out my phone and played back what he said. He told me if I ever played that to anyone he would destroy me. I asked him "is that a threat?" He told me "it's not a threat its a promise." When we were a few minutes from my mothers house he said "you know I regret all of this ****" I asked him a question "so you regret me" I will never forget the look on his face. He never responded but i saw in his eyes that he did I yelled the question again and he still didn't respond. He pulled up in front of my moms house and i jumped out and told him to go to hell. When he drove away I started to cry and I banged on the door to my moms house. I cried all night. The next day I went to the police and told them the whole story. His name is now in a file and if he tries to do anything to me he will be arrested i think. He has texted me everyday trying to guilt trip me into going back to his house and being with him. He even tried to tell my friends to talk to me. All of them were on my side. I haven't spoken to him in two months. Everyone is saying I'll just end up forgiving him anyway but I refuse to. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry this is long.

Thanks
-bellepoem118

[CANDC]

Hi bellepoem118.Welcome to Psych Central. I am so sorry you have felt that your father did not support you as a child and teen. It must be so rough to get caught in the middle of their arguments. It could have been so much better if he kept you out of that.

These may be of interest
https://answers.psychcentral.com/sto...naging-anxiety

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...busive-parent/

https://pro.psychcentral.com/recover...-co-parenting/

[Unrigged64072835]

Did the police mention filing a restraining order? Since he threatened physical harm, your mother may want to do that.

Forgiving your father doesn't mean you have to hang out with him. It's so you don't have to carry the pain and anger for the rest of your life.