ignore me mummy...trigger trigger trigger

yes you are ignoring me mummy
I'm onoly little I need you
just give me a cuddle, pain in my tummy
cant tell you, feeling sad
you leave me at home while you play
leave me lonely daddy's busy
crying for your attention today
why is my head so dizzy
push me behind that curtain
til you finish kissing him
saw you heard you for certain
wanted to throw myself away in a bin
scared, hiding hearing only a little girl
hearing those noises and groans
is he hurting you mummy
confused in here on my own
someone told me not to tell
what would daddy say
would i end up in hell
or in my room all day.
in that van early on day
you were gone he asked me to play
tried to get his hands off me
he made me feel filthy
I ran to a hill and stayed
til you returned
waited til daylight fades
no cuddles, my heart yearned
my head full of secrets, guilt
confused alone so sad
hid for ages under my quilt
thinking I'm so bad.
always told too fat not pretty
told should be like my friends
self esteem replaced by whitty
a mask so I could pretend
class joker felt good to clown
the mask worked for years
covered when I was down
covered so many fears
on the outside always joking
inside distressed dying
inside I lay choking
strangled by all the crying
now it's just get over it
not as bad as some
makes me want to spit
wish these people had had so much fun

Jin