[PrimaBallerina]

I'm in such a scary position and really need support as I can't really talk to anyone about this. My boss started pursuing me for a year until I finally gave in and started seeing him. He is married. I would fight with him daily about being with his wife and being with me. He recently took her to Paris and other places in Europe which has really broken me. I came to the conclusion that I don't mean what he made out that I mean to him from this. So I told him it's over. He continued to phone message and email me. I had to block all numbers, etc. He just came back and rocked up at my door. I told the guard I did not want to see him. The problem is I work under this person and I have to see him tomorrow. I feel so scared and helpless. I cannot go to management because they will take his side. I am applying for new jobs but it is hard to find another.

Can anyone relate or offer some insight.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Ballerina: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

I'm sorry you find yourself to be in this most difficult situation. I wish had some words of wisdom to offer you with regard to this. Unfortunately, short of reporting what has happened to management (which you wrote you cannot do), I don't know what other options there are for you other than to try to find another job (which you wrote you are doing.) Beyond that, I'm afraid what this may come down to is simply telling this man, in no uncertain terms, that your relationship is over & asking him to please simply allow you to do your job. From that perspective, this becomes a matter of personal boundaries.

There has been a lot of news coverage of this sort of thing recently in the U.S. And as a result, hopefully at least, there is some increased sensitivity here to these types of situations. So, at least where I live, you could perhaps go to management & expect to be supported. However I take it, from what you wrote, this may not be the case where you live. That is certainly unfortunate.

Here are links to a selection of articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that may be of some help. This looks like a lot of reading. But the articles are short. So it's not as much as it may appear:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/psych...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/women...tional-affair/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/women...tional-affair/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/12-way...tional-affair/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-ar...do-i-get-some/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-imp...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-...er-boundaries/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-tips...aries-at-work/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/5-tips-...iveness/?all=1

https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-p...ur-boundaries/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...dium=popular17

My best wishes to you...