Effects of Bullying

ust joined today. Glad to be among like minded people.

What brought me here today is I have been having issues dealing with bullying when I was in school and for a little bit after into my early 20's. 40 years old now so I don't feel this should be bothering me anymore. Not currently being abused or bullied in any way.

Anyway I was bullied like I said and I feel very guilty and ashamed of myself for not standing up for myself and preventing it from happening. My father and others told me to just fight back but I could not bring myself to do it. I feel like a complete coward.

I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety disorder in my mid 20's. So I know that was a big reason I was not able to stand up for myself. I was very anxious socially before the bullying started so it didn't cause the anxiety but im sure made it worse.

Im having intrusive thoughts about this and like I said Im 40 not and this has been over for almost 20 years. Cant anyone relate?

I guess what makes me feel guilty is I could have stopped it. Im a healthy male physically so I should have done something. Not a child who is beaten or a wife who is being abused. Anyway don't feel like much of a man.

Anyway any thought that can help or anyone that can relate?

Thanks for listening