Effects of Bullying

I recall replying to your introductory post. I was bullied both verbally & physically throughout high school by a gang of older boys. Everyone knew what was going on, including my parents. But nobody cared. At one point one of them beat me up breaking my nose. When he was questioned about it, he said I called him a name. So I got blamed for it. My father told me about how, when he was a kid, another kid tried to bully him & he punched him in the nose & that was all there was to that.

I don't know if this experience destroyed my life. Perhaps I'd have destroyed it myself anyway. I certainly had my problems long before this sad experience. I sometimes feel like I should have stood up to my bullies too. But I also believe if they had ever gotten me alone, they'd have likely killed me. They might not have intended to. But they would have.

I have intrusive thoughts with regard to this. But, then, I have intrusive thoughts about all sorts of things. So they're just one bunch of bitter grapes on a very l-o-n-g vine, so to speak. What I know is there is no way to stop these thoughts, stuff them back down, or banish them from my mind. They just keep coming back stronger & more frequently. So what I do, when they come up, is to move closer to them, breathe into them, & perhaps even smile to them. I may even place a hand over my heart as a sign of lovingkindness & compassion for them. Then, after a few moments, I'll allow the particular thought that came up to drift away & I'll simply continue to breathe into the underlying emotions... the anxiety, fear, sadness, humiliation & other emotions that go along with it until they fade. This is a Buddhist practice that is referred to as "compassionate abiding." However, here's a link to a mental-health-oriented description of the practice:

Relieve Distress By Allowing It: Compassionate Abiding 101 | Mindset: Perspective Is Everything

As the 11th centrury Tibetan yogini, Machig Labdrön said: "In other traditions demons are expelled externally. But in my tradition demons are accepted with compassion."

I was also bullied. The bullies want us to feel “less of a person” ... Bullies are “excruciatingly insecure” . I’m sorry you’ve been through this I hope you’ll stick around here on pc, there are many kind people here. And many can relate to having been bullied. There isn’t a time limit to “getting over” bullying or any other form of abuse. It can stay with us but it doesn’t make us “less of a person” ..

Great advice!I wish I had thought about that!

I did stand up to the bullies. It made it worst. I can finally say That I am angry at what had happened. I miss a class field trip because of my bullies. That is great advice!

Thanks for the comments. So how did you stand up to your bullies and how did it make it worse?

I guess i have this thinking that if I would have simply stood up for myself it would have all stopped. Not the case i guess as you said

I report two classmates who had pulled a knife on me on the third day of sixth grade. I begin to.be bullied by several classmates that had followed me into high school. In the sixth grade I was about to be expelled because I had report the bullying the bullying. I became suicidal and very depressed. I developed serious anxiety attack.

It took until my freshman year before a police officer step in. It took my senior year before one of the bully to be expelled.