[TishaBuv]

I ended the toxic relationship with someone who turned out to be a vicious, slanderous enemy.

Now I have to recover.

Every time I go on facebook I still see her profile on my IM chat. I deleted her contact and blocked her everywhere. But I still can’t get her profile to disappear when I go onto my home page. Maybe in time it will disappear as I message others.

Ugh. This I needed...

[TishaBuv]

In hindsight, I knew how bad she was capable of being. I knew about all the bad things she said and did. I fooled myself into thinking she had a limit and some loyalty. Then again, I knew she had no loyalty. She had proved that to me long ago. I just didn’t think she would twist my truth into lies and spread vicious gossip of lies about me. IDK, maybe I’m just kidding myself. I must have known she had no limits.

Why did I remain friends with someone like this?

[TishaBuv]

She told friend E that the things that I said happened to me were not true; that I was delusional and imagined what was said was what I wanted to hear.

What an evil B, gaslighting me! That’s so crazy!

I’m just going to keep my sense of humor about this. I am fine. No harm done. I got rid of devil frenemy. She’s the idiot, not me. Ha ha, how silly of me to think this POS was my friend for 40 years!

[TishaBuv]

And I love how she said “I’m tired of walking on eggshells” insinuating I am hypersensitive over the outrageously abusive things she said to and about me!

Holy crap! An evil narcissist!

[TishaBuv]

Hey— at least my reeling from her is distracting me from my very painful divorce.

[TishaBuv]

I don’t have “trust issues”, I’ve had ****** friends and lovers! I was betrayed by people who professed to love me.

I just need to relax and take care of myself. Find a healthy routine. I really don’t have any goals. Maybe I can focus on something fulfilling.

I’m now having flashbacks about how I had a mystery phony phone caller through high school and after I moved home from college. I suspected it was this friend and she always denied it. But now I think it must have been her.

Really scary stuff. I’m lucky this demon didn’t kill me.

[TishaBuv]

I hate it when people don’t act the way I think they are supposed to act! Even though she’s proved herself to be a frenemy, I still wish she would realize the error of her ways and apologize.

How do I recondition myself to roll with what happens and understand shytty people don’t ever act nice afterward?

[TishaBuv]

I love how I’m talking to myself here.

This has been my faulty thinking in all my relationships. The person acts badly then I crave for them to act better instead of accepting they are bad for me and letting go.

[TishaBuv]

Ugg. Ok. Here it is.

It’s like finding what I want to be a diamond in the rough. What I really found was just a rock. My low self esteem is why I didn’t reach for a real diamond in the first place. Then I’m upset that the rock is just a rock. I think I deserve the diamond but I really can’t get one because I’m not good enough, pretty enough, popular enough whatever.

[TishaBuv]

Plus my mom was a screaming abusive bytch and never had any remorse about that.

[TishaBuv]

C wasn’t a good match for me as a friend. This is for the best. She’s a rude, obnoxious person and I can’t get along with that. I’m fine to be moving on and letting go.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I love how I’m talking to myself here.

This has been my faulty thinking in all my relationships. The person acts badly then I crave for them to act better instead of accepting they are bad for me and letting go.

This is the story of my life too. Like maya angelou said, when someone tells you who they are, believe them.

Just that simple.

And realize what you are telling them.

[TishaBuv]

This B is still getting at me through our mutual friend. Friend E is cajoling me into refriending toxic friend C, even though C never contacted me again and certainly didn’t apologize. I asked E to not share any personal information about me with C, that ‘I don’t even want my name on her lips’, but obviously they are discussing me.

I guess I’ll have to remind E that I don’t want to hear about C and to not discuss me with her. I don’t want this to drive a wedge between me and E. Damn that manipulative C! *C being her name, not the “C” word, lol.

Hopefully you don’t have to be around her and you can start to put her out of your mind. Sounds like she did a lot of damage. Don’t let her take up any more time and space in your life.

[Open Eyes]

I sounds like you keep fighting that ongoing battle you always fought about with your mother and you end up with friends that are a lot like your mother too. You need to realize you can't ever win the battle with this kind of person and I think that is something you have been trying to figure out how to do. Unfortunately, we can actually surround ourselves with the very kind of people that are no good for us, often we stick around certain individuals is simply because they are "familiar". Unfortunately, this tends to be more on a subconscious level too UNTIL we reach out for help where we can finally learn why certain kinds of people are just not healthy for us and why without realizing it we actually "can" attract the wrong people to us too.

[TishaBuv]

I got rid of her in June when she went off on me about how she’s reached her limit with me and I need an intervention. She talked friend E into believing I was “crazy” and they needed to do an intervention. Only, she had no intention of actually driving to my house and putting herself out for me in any way. What did she want? She said she was ‘tired of walking on eggshells’ and couldn’t be my friend due to that. Except she is so over the top rude and refuses to act like a decent human being— that is her take of ‘walking on eggshells’!

She was a friend I’ve had since 8th grade. Otherwise, I would never have been her friend now. We have nothing in common as adults. She is way extreme in many things she does and I don’t want to bash her here, but I really don’t share in her values.

Sadly, our mutual friend is being played, I think. C is probably putting her up to try to talk me in to just being friends with her again and get information out of her about me.

So I’m torn. I can’t confide any info in friend E suspecting it will go back to C. This is a challenge.

C never even apologized to me since June. She tells E that she doesn’t want to call me to apologize because I probably won’t be her friend again anyway. That’s true. She stabbed me in the back. Why would I be a friend to someone like that? But wouldn’t a decent person at least make the effort to apologize anyway just because they know they were very hurtful? Eh, there goes my faulty thinking again, that people are so good.

So now I have to tap dance. Friends with E, but no info I don’t want going back to C.

You ask why did you become friends with her. It is possible that she "targeted" you as a friend. There are people like that. Who "targets" good people with the wrong/ unhealthy motive as their narcissistic supply, to use and bring you down.

She showed her true colors by retaliating when you cut her out of your life. But she was never loyal to begin with. By having her out of your life, you still receive less damage than having her remain in your life. It's like a damage range of a radiation. The farther you are, less damage you receive. You did the right thing.