(*note that I also posted this in a different section...sometimes I'm not sure which one to pick...the more responses the better imo because you folks are insightful)

Hello folks,

I wondered if anyone else feels like this. The more I step back and calmly assess interactions with my family (almost as though I am a neutral 3rd party) the more I feel as though they want me to be unhappy and resent me when I am well.

The other day my mother called and asked how I was doing. I said "I'm good" in a cheery tone and this really seemed to bother her. I told her about things I do for my health and wellness and the conversation became very strange...her voice went high in pitch (which is what happens when she is irritated or disturbed by something) and she began speaking to me in a voice that might be fitting for a pet or toddler: she said very loudly, with a weird voice very hard to describe: "GOOD GIRL! GOOD GIRL! GOOD GIRL!" She was actually talking over me so that I wasn't able to finish what I was saying. I am in my late 30s by the way...a bit old for 'good girl' in my opinion

This was so strange. I ignored it. But I've been thinking about it since. She seemed to have a very strong reaction to my peace and wellness. I honestly feel that she would have preferred if I said I felt terrible or something.

Can anyone relate? I meet the criteria for CEN as well as parental abuse. I go back and forth, should I cut ties, should I keep a distance, it is so confusing. I know I could benefit from more therapy. Looking into options.

Just wondered if anyone else feels that their parent and/or siblings would rather see them miserable than happy and well. It is bizarre.

[SorryShaped]

A lot of the time I think most people feel better when I'm down. It gives them all a chance to tell me how much and where I'm messing up and gives the religious ones a chance to tell me that their god could fix it. When I am doing better, they say I'm manic. It's all crap. I let some of them say what they want but a lot of the time I'm imagining something else the whole time because it's the same thing they've always said and they don't seem quite happy either.

Yes, it's bizarre but it happens. I can totally relate to this kind of experience.

Just as the storm in my life was starting to calm down, and things were getting better, this person would start an out-of-the-blue conversation about negative things that another family member did to me in the past (which would be irrelevant topic at this point). I found out she was being treated badly by her significant other. I guess some people don't want you to be happy ahead of/ aside from them.

Whether you decide to keep in touch or cut contact with your mother, I would be careful not to share too much information with her--good or bad.

Thank you for your replies SorryShaped and Ennie. Previously a therapist advised me not to share anything of significance with my mother. I used to find that really difficult because I sometimes live quite an isolated life and I really craved someone to listen. But yes, as time goes by, I think I should only talk about superficial things with her if at all.

It may sound simplistic but I think there is quite a bit of truth to the following:

Positive people attract positive people

and

Misery loves company.

Thanks again folks for your replies. I wish you peace and only good things.

[sarahsweets]

I think it depends on the type of relationship you have with family. We all have family members who are most happy when you are miserable or are one of those people you would say "misery loves company" about. But there are some that I really believe that have gotten so used to our down times they do not know how to take us when we are good. If you have had a period of prolonged down time this makes sense and I try and remember that when dealing with family that doesnt know how to take me.