Narcissists' lack of object constancy

One thing that makes me really mad is the narcissist's inability to comprehend a world view where everything isn't black or white, all or nothing.

I work really hard to manage the family property by myself, doing all the yardwork year after year. The narcissist won't help and throws tantrums and calls me names if I ask her to help out. And every time she sees one dead plant she declares that "all our plants are dead." Even annuals that die at the end of their season are declared failures because she can't see that they are covered in seeds so we will have more flowers next year.

I had a successful year in the garden and only lost one small tree to circumstances out of my control. The narcissist saw that dead tree and then stood in a yard full of trees and said "I can't believe all our expensive trees are dead." It makes me want to scream and tear her face off because she never sees the positive results of my hard work.

Her tiny brain is so limited that when she is looking at one dead plant she can't simultaneously believe that there are plants alive less than a foot away. This is the kind of thinking that makes narcissists say you always or never do something when it isn't true. This is the type of people who promote racism and hate crimes. If you substitute a person for the plant in this scenario, you see why if narcissists see something they don't like in one person, they will say that an entire ethic group or minority are evil based on one specimen.

I know the narcissist has a cognitive handicap and her false statements do not diminish my achievements but it still pisses me off that she has to constantly declare "all" our plants dead when there are literally hundreds of live plants that she photographs to show off on social media to pretend she has a posh life. Grrrrr!