[Bluelotus86]

I was in a very toxic relationship with someone who I know was a total narcissist. We would be on and off. One time when we were off he said he was moving and didnt want to leave things the way they were with us. He said we needed closure. I agreed. I went to see him. He had been furious with me over something I did. I can tell he was still mad. We start talking which turned into yelling and screaming.

Possible trigger:

He gets livid and chokes me repeatedly during the time I was there. We end up in the bedroom. He's yelling and calling me all kinds of names. He pushes me against the dresser lifts my dress and angrily shoves his fingers inside me. I react in pain. Then he pushes on the bed puts his hand around my neck tightly holding me in place. Lifts my dress with the other hand and pushes my underwear to the side and forced his way inside me. I try to get up and push him off but it doesn't work. I'm telling him to stop but he tells me to share t up and that that's what I wanted. He said that's the way I want men to treat me. He held me down in 2 positions. Each time I couldn't get away from him. When he finally let me up I pushed him and ran to bathroom in disbelief. Days later he said it was my fault. My actions before that day made him react the way he did. This was 2 months ago. I still don't know if what happened was rape.

I'm so lost and confused

[Anxiety Princess]

Hi Bluelotus86, welcome to PsychCentral! (I noticed that this is your first post and wanted to welcome you. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. That is most certainly rape and forcible restraint, as well as unlawful detention and (possibly depeneding on your state laws) kidnapping. You tried more than once leave, you told him to stop at least once, and he didn't. That's rape.

Again, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I'm very worried for your safety. Is it possible for you to get away from or stay away from this person? Please take care of you.

[sarahsweets]

Hey @Bluelotus86 is this something that is ongoing or have you broken free and describing trauma from the past?

[Bluelotus86]

This took place a few months ago

[Bluelotus86]

Thank you. Still dealing with it