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Member
Member Since Apr 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 179
4 23 hugs
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#1
I was 8 when the abuse first started.
But I was 12 when I actually knew what was happening to me. |
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bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2020
Location: Uk
Posts: 558
4 890 hugs
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#2
I knew it was wrong on some level always, but I squashed everything down, and as I was growing up abuse became 'normal' to me. It's only been the last few years I've admitted it to myself and it's still unfolding.
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bpcyclist
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bpcyclist, may24
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
7 692 hugs
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#3
What is "knowing"?
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bpcyclist
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*Beth*, bpcyclist
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Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,286
(SuperPoster!)
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#4
I was 3-4 when it happened and at the time I thought it was normal. I repressed it for several years and then when I was a teenager it came back to the surface and I realized I had been abused.
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bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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Member
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: InMyHead
Posts: 61
4 439 hugs
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#5
42, almost 43. It was going on from the age of 3, or earlier, until the age of 10, approximately. Dissociative amnesia covers most of it, except some parts that I always knew were abuse and terror, but could not put the face on the abuser, and generally tried to push it out of my mind. The first time I remembered clearly it was abuse I was around 14, but literally fell ill from the knowledge, and pushed everything to the back of my mind again. It took me another 29 years to finally remember and to start believing my memories. I am 44 now. Last year and a half were pure hell.
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bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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Junior Member
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 14
4 |
#6
It happened when I was 10. I was 17 when I started to remember. I was 25 when I began my journey of healing. I read Victims No Longer by Mike Lew. I opened up to one of my close female friends and she responded with kindness and understanding, more than I could have hoped for, she saved my life. I am still on the journey of healing and I'm new here because I need more help on this journey.
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bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,438
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
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#7
I'll get back to you on this one
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Bill3, bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
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#8
My abuse/torture occurred when I was ages 44-46. It has taken ten years or so to get to the point where I can even start to honestly deal with it. Way too scared. Beyond terriffied. Being constantly gaslit, invalidated, and all the other stuff abusers employ to deny and shift reality and facts has made it a long and difficult journey. Very proud of myself that I am no longer living in total denial of what was done to me.
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Bill3
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Bill3
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New Member
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: East Coast
Posts: 4
4 |
#9
Quote:
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