[guy1111]

I am learning that abuse can destroy your self esteem. I am learning that when you have no self esteem it is hard to recover from the effects of abuse. The more I work on regaining my self esteem the more grounded and safe I feel.

I just recently had a feeling that I never had before and never heard it described. I was aware of my level of self esteem as though it was on a scale from 1-10. Like, right now it feels like about a 5. Before this I either felt totally crushed and worthless (normal), or a little bit good about myself (temporary high). It would only jump between the two feelings.

Now if I focus on it, I am able to gauge where I am at and I can make decisions based on that. So for instance if my wife yells at me, I can feel my self esteem go down. If I go talk to a friend and laugh with them, spend time affirming my good qualities, etc. I can feel my self esteem go up.

It feels good to know I can rest somewhere in the middle. I don't have to jump from a high and crash to a low. I feel a little bit more in control of my life. I am proud of myself! I am a good person! Hurray

[shovelhead]

Hurray to you! I love this thread! Please, let's keep it going. Self Esteem is my #1 Goal. I don't have any! Like I am starving & dying of thirst for it! If I could get some, I could then attempt to fix multiple major issues. I'm glad this 'gauge system' works for u. That's wonderful news that things can help & work, for self esteem.

[unaluna]

I was living with my mother (early 2000's) when a revival of self-esteem came up, that it should be taught in the elementary schools, etc. I would tell my mother that some remark of hers hurt my self esteem, and she would then laugh and threaten to physically damage my "steam". Good times! - NOT!

[guy1111]

Originally Posted by unaluna

I was living with my mother (early 2000's) when a revival of self-esteem came up, that it should be taught in the elementary schools, etc. I would tell my mother that some remark of hers hurt my self esteem, and she would then laugh and threaten to physically damage my "steam". Good times! - NOT!

We really should be educated on the importance of self esteem. It is more than just feeling good about yourself or being prideful.