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The Great Forest
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Default Dec 08, 2020 at 05:38 AM
  #1
How do you deal with emotional abuse caused by a parent?
This is the last year(im in my last year of highschool) i live with my dad but his emotional abuse keeps getting worse and at times i don't know how to deal with this at all ,i just go somewhere alone and practice mindfulness meditation.
Now i know i shouldn't take what he said or what he's gonna say in the future seriously because he doesn't deserve me ,or other kids but i still struggle with this even now when i've been exposed to this my entire life.
I don't want to dissociate or become depressed because of this and i know i could move out but i have nowhere to go and it's my last year of hs ,i don't want to give up now ,especially since i've come such a long way ,i know i deserve better and i will fight for it.
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Default Dec 08, 2020 at 06:05 AM
  #2
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i know i deserve better and i will fight for it.
It is wonderful and helpful that you know you deserve better! However, IMO sometimes it is not helpful to fight with an abusive person. I hope you are able to escape eventually via college, military service, etc. When you can, creating distance would be the best strategy.

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Default Dec 08, 2020 at 06:42 AM
  #3
Is it possible to see a therapist to help you cope with this verbal abuse? I found a book that helped me immensely...The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. You cannot fight or argue an abuser....simply remove yourself (as you are doing). I am so sorry you are going thru this. I grew up with a verbally abusive mother, so I know how that feels. Can you talk to a counselor at school?
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Default Dec 08, 2020 at 06:45 AM
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It is wonderful and helpful that you know you deserve better! However, IMO sometimes it is not helpful to fight with an abusive person. I hope you are able to escape eventually via college, military service, etc. When you can, creating distance would be the best strategy.

When does the Gray Rock Method Fail? | Narcissism & Detachment Strategy - YouTube

Lessons from people who are "immune" to narcissists - YouTube
Oh ,i didn't mean it as in "fight with the person" ,i meant it more as in "i will fight with myself and keep me up so im never going to give up on myself" .Thank you for the kind words and for the helpfull links you listed there.
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Default Dec 08, 2020 at 06:47 AM
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Is it possible to see a therapist to help you cope with this verbal abuse? I found a book that helped me immensely...The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. You cannot fight or argue an abuser....simply remove yourself (as you are doing). I am so sorry you are going thru this. I grew up with a verbally abusive mother, so I know how that feels. Can you talk to a counselor at school?
In the current situation unfortunately it isn't and at currently we're doing school online ,because of the pandemic.But im going to take a look at the book you reffered to ,thank you for this.
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Default Feb 07, 2021 at 07:58 PM
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Oh ,i didn't mean it as in "fight with the person" ,i meant it more as in "i will fight with myself and keep me up so im never going to give up on myself" .Thank you for the kind words and for the helpfull links you listed there.

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Default Feb 07, 2021 at 08:27 PM
  #7
Parental abuse has long lasting effects. Have some kind of self care routine. There are a lot of self soothing techniques online.Do it everyday.Meditation is good.Develop some hobbies.Connect with nature.I find gardening very soothing.And DO not take it to heart((The verbal abuse).And DO not believe what abuser says.Read up on it.Grey rock works wonders.
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Default Feb 07, 2021 at 09:58 PM
  #8
I know what this feels like. I went through something similar when I lived with my mom. She never believed in me and thought I was gonna end up a failure this whole time. In my case, she started getting involved in my schooling once I got into high school to make sure I graduated. But, it was a controlling method and finishing high school while living with her was all in vain. It's a long story. I would try looking for a job especially since you're due to graduate this year. Perhaps moving in with a friend or roommate and splitting the bills. You have to be frugal especially starting out. Just get away from your father. He'll just bring you down the longer you stay. I speak from experience.
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