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Phrysca
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Default Dec 30, 2020 at 07:37 PM
  #1
I remember when my ex tells me that I acted as though he "beat" me. When I looked at him crazy, he elaborated. He said that it wasn't like he would punch me or near me everyday. As of today, I realized how he downplayed his actions towards me. He might not have "beat" me, but he didn't think about the emotional, verbal, and mental abuse that isn't physical nonetheless is abuse. It still makes us physically weak. Maybe that was why I didn't see myself as a survivor, just because I didn't end up physically disabled. PTSD clearly shows that mentally, emotionally, and verbally I was hurt.

Lately, I have been going into the domestic websites to share my story, and I have to say the least, it has been relieving. I was still scared or embarrassed to speak on it, but here I am sharing it on media sites. Limited sites, but regardless other people will read what he did to me. I don't ever use his name, but I haven't loss about mine. It was like the very first time I told somebody about him hitting me - it was like a weight was lifted off of me and even if for that brief moment I felt better - it was worth it.

One thing I told my friend was that no matter what - if she thought I'd get mad, let me be mad, but no matter what - call me and I will be there. Mad at her or not, it doesn't matter, I would have gone to help her. I am proud to say that I "saved lives" by making sure, the women I helped, know that they needed to get out of their relationship. I used myself as an example of what they should or shouldn't do. One of them was no older than 26. Another was no younger than 56. Both of those ages being so vulnerable.

Another woman I saved was just a blessing in disguise because even though I knew her, I hardly spoke to her. I happened to see her and we exchanged numbers. That evening and called me so we could schedule for her to see my daughter I had just had her. We had a long conversation mostly about her ex boyfriend who was my children's uncle. After we hung up, he called me. He sounds different, and then he tells me he was going to kill her. To distract him I told him to pick me up instead. He agreed.

As soon as he hung up I called her back. I was so scared and told her to get out of the house. She tried to argue with pride not wanting to allow him determine her life. I told her he was on drugs. She began to move a lot more quickly getting her sons and her mother out of the apartment. I stayed on the phone the whole time until she told me she was going to drive and she would call me back.

I waited oh so very patiently. I don't think I have ever felt the way I felt that night before or after that night. I can't even begin to describe how nervous and how my I prayed that she call me soon. What felt like hours, actually was. Maybe three or four hours she finally calls me. I started to cry. She told me that he broke every door, every TV, and she said she had had enough when she saw that he had broke her sons' bunk bed. She said that the thought of him breaking it and wondering if he would have done it while they were in it.

She then tells me that she was sorry for dragging me into her messy life. I told her that I felt actually privileged to have been there to be able to get her out of the house right in time. She then told me that she called someone who was going to help her move, and leave him for good. She wasn't sure if she'd call me again. Nothing would change except for one thing, she would have been dead had we not exchanged numbers and spoke that night.

I have seen, felt, encountered, witnessed, victimized, and yet I am still here. My next stop is the spiritual forum....

Thank you for reading.
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Default Dec 30, 2020 at 08:00 PM
  #2
Dear Phrysca,

I think it is so great that you are able to help people. And equally great that you are a survivor. I think your story will be inspiring to so many of us here. Thank you so much for sharing it!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
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Default Jan 02, 2021 at 10:03 PM
  #3
I'd say co exister rather than survivors as this denotes some kind of victory within the victim. I think most assaults don't end well.
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Default Feb 07, 2021 at 08:05 PM
  #4
Thank you for sharing, Phrysca

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