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Unhappy Jan 24, 2021 at 02:45 PM
  #1
I cut contact with my physically and emotionally abusive mother over a year ago. But she keeps finding ways to get in contact with me. Lately, she’s been begging me to talk to her saying that I’m the only person she’s got left and this makes me feel terrible. Could I have misjudged her and maybe she’s not that evil?

Should I resume contact even though I don’t really want to?
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Default Jan 24, 2021 at 03:38 PM
  #2
I think if you do contact her again, you’re going to have to enforce boundaries with her. But her saying you’re the only person she has left just feels like emotional blackmail to me. Have you ever told her you don’t like how she treated you, in the past? Not that she would necessarily have stopped, but her responses would have been interesting, and telling (you’d most likely have got either apologies, blame shifting to make you the issue, or denial).
If staying no contact feels safer for you, do that. She is your mother but you don’t owe her anything.
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Default Jan 31, 2021 at 07:24 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoxanneToto View Post
I think if you do contact her again, you’re going to have to enforce boundaries with her. But her saying you’re the only person she has left just feels like emotional blackmail to me. Have you ever told her you don’t like how she treated you, in the past? Not that she would necessarily have stopped, but her responses would have been interesting, and telling (you’d most likely have got either apologies, blame shifting to make you the issue, or denial).
If staying no contact feels safer for you, do that. She is your mother but you don’t owe her anything.
I think that if you have ever told her you don't like how she has treated you, and that she has hurt you, her responses would be very interesting and telling.

I wonder if you have ever discussed this with her?

As RoxanneToto posted, her responses would most likely be either denial, blame shifting (an attempt to make you the issue) or maybe an apology.

If you are certain you want no further contact with her then you need to enforce boundaries.


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Last edited by Fuzzybear; Jan 31, 2021 at 09:25 PM..
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