advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-28-2021, 12:33 PM   #1
Trying to help
New Member
Trying to help has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2021
Location: WI
Posts: 2
Default Do victims of longtime abuse show signs of sociopathy/psychopathy themselves?

Hi,
I am here as a concerned friend and someone that would love to be in a relationship with this survivor. I have previously helped my little sister leave an abusive relationship. So I have done quite a bit of reading on this subject. Now I find myself trying to help a female friend that was in a similar situation. Although her relationship was longer. So more trauma over a longer period of time than my sister experienced. Iíve once again been reading up on this subject and canít help but notice the person who I am trying to help shows some signs of psychopaths/sociopaths at times. So my question is in the title. Is it common for people who have been traumatized for a decade to pick up some of the traits of their abusers?

Let me know if you need more details.
Trying to help is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Old 02-28-2021, 02:36 PM   #2
ShaneG
Veteran Member
ShaneG has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2020
Location: Unknown
Posts: 692 (SuperPoster!)
367 hugs
given
Default Re: Do victims of longtime abuse show signs of sociopathy/psychopathy themselves?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trying to help View Post
Hi,
I am here as a concerned friend and someone that would love to be in a relationship with this survivor. I have previously helped my little sister leave an abusive relationship. So I have done quite a bit of reading on this subject. Now I find myself trying to help a female friend that was in a similar situation. Although her relationship was longer. So more trauma over a longer period of time than my sister experienced. Iíve once again been reading up on this subject and canít help but notice the person who I am trying to help shows some signs of psychopaths/sociopaths at times. So my question is in the title. Is it common for people who have been traumatized for a decade to pick up some of the traits of their abusers?

Let me know if you need more details.
This is a very good post and a well-put point, I have heard of a saying that goes something like this, ' many abuse victims mimic their abusers mentally if subjected or exposed to a long personal hate campaign'.

It's part of the PTSD that is caused by being triangulated whilst being treated in a degrading or abusive manner, you read about it in rape cases.

Have you thought about both attending a professional psychologist session together?

THX for posting this its a very good point being made.
ShaneG is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-28-2021, 09:17 PM   #3
Trying to help
New Member
Trying to help has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2021
Location: WI
Posts: 2
Default Re: Do victims of longtime abuse show signs of sociopathy/psychopathy themselves?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaneG View Post
This is a very good post and a well-put point, I have heard of a saying that goes something like this, ' many abuse victims mimic their abusers mentally if subjected or exposed to a long personal hate campaign'.

It's part of the PTSD that is caused by being triangulated whilst being treated in a degrading or abusive manner, you read about it in rape cases.

Have you thought about both attending a professional psychologist session together?

THX for posting this its a very good point being made.
Thank you for the response. This helps. We are not a couple. So couples therapy probably isnít an option. If that changes, I would definitely suggest it. I think the trauma is too fresh for me to pursue a relationship with her right now.m, but we are very good friends and have been for months before she left and now 6 months since she has left. I do believe she is suffering from C PTSD after my research and previous experience with my sister. My sister was in a near fatal car accident and I moved across the country to help her recover from her physical injuries. Upon arrival, I realized she was in a relationship with a terrible person. I lived with her while she recovered, so I was there for all of it. From the break up, her kicking him out of the house, and all of the craziness that ensued afterwards. I saw every interaction, text, phone call, stalking behavior, etc. I think my sister having a near death experience actually helped her recover emotionally faster from this relationship. Plus she had bigger fish to fry like learning to walk again. So in a weird way, this may have helped her recover faster.
Anyways, all of this I think puts me in a unique position to help this person I care for recover from a similar but also different situation. And I do think I have helped a bit, but there have been setbacks. I just want her to be well. At times I think she welcomes my help and others I think she is embarrassed to ask for it. So I try and just let her know I am always there if needed. It breaks my heart. I want to be more open with her, but I also donít want to scare her off. If that makes any sense.
Trying to help is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-01-2021, 08:55 PM   #4
BethRags
~remember to breathe~
 
BethRags's Avatar
BethRags is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown California
Posts: 8,122 (SuperPoster!)
1 yr Member
9,962 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Do victims of longtime abuse show signs of sociopathy/psychopathy themselves?

I'm a survivor of long-time abuse by multiple abusers. I do not have sociopathy, nor do I have psychopathy. Far from it. I tend to allow people to use me and walk all over me, which I'm trying in therapy to learn not to do. Most survivors of long-term abuse tend to act in, not act out. In my experience, anyway.
__________________
-Beth






BethRags is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-05-2021, 11:40 PM   #5
leomama
Grand Magnate
 
leomama's Avatar
leomama Too ****ed up to care anymore
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,102
5 yr Member
174 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Do victims of longtime abuse show signs of sociopathy/psychopathy themselves?

The fact you are asking that question means to me you shouldnít be helping your friend. I would encourage you to educate yourself about codependency.
leomama is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-07-2021, 04:29 PM   #6
ShaneG
Veteran Member
ShaneG has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2020
Location: Unknown
Posts: 692 (SuperPoster!)
367 hugs
given
Default Re: Do victims of longtime abuse show signs of sociopathy/psychopathy themselves?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trying to help View Post
Thank you for the response. This helps. We are not a couple. So couples therapy probably isnít an option. If that changes, I would definitely suggest it. I think the trauma is too fresh for me to pursue a relationship with her right now.m, but we are very good friends and have been for months before she left and now 6 months since she has left. I do believe she is suffering from C PTSD after my research and previous experience with my sister. My sister was in a near fatal car accident and I moved across the country to help her recover from her physical injuries. Upon arrival, I realized she was in a relationship with a terrible person. I lived with her while she recovered, so I was there for all of it. From the break up, her kicking him out of the house, and all of the craziness that ensued afterwards. I saw every interaction, text, phone call, stalking behavior, etc. I think my sister having a near death experience actually helped her recover emotionally faster from this relationship. Plus she had bigger fish to fry like learning to walk again. So in a weird way, this may have helped her recover faster.
Anyways, all of this I think puts me in a unique position to help this person I care for recover from a similar but also different situation. And I do think I have helped a bit, but there have been setbacks. I just want her to be well. At times I think she welcomes my help and others I think she is embarrassed to ask for it. So I try and just let her know I am always there if needed. It breaks my heart. I want to be more open with her, but I also donít want to scare her off. If that makes any sense.
No problem, I hope some of it helped.

Remember there are many days in the week so why settle upon just one.
ShaneG is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-17-2021, 03:16 AM   #7
MrsA
Member
MrsA has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Nevada
Posts: 290
2 yr Member
383 hugs
given
Default Re: Do victims of longtime abuse show signs of sociopathy/psychopathy themselves?

It depends on the individual. I grew up in an abusive family and my parents and violent older sibling labeled me a psychopath to justify their bad tempers and violent actions. So I would be careful labeling a survivor with psychopathic traits because they were probably told at some point that they were bad or evil. But it is possible that some abuse victims already had the tendencies or developed it from the experience.

Another thing is that extreme experiences can make people express themselves in ways that shock "normal" people. Because I've dealt with real violence and a pedophile since I was 6 years old (and I'm pretty sure my big sister would have successfully murdered me 3-4 times if I had been a little slower or more unlucky), I am really realistic can be a bit blunt and impatient with people who act squeamish when talking about sex or violence and that can make some people say I'm crazy or psychopathic.

It is possible that some people develop dangerous mental health issues from abuse. So tread carefully and don't put any obvious labels or appear judgemental when you deal with this person.

Something that always offends me is when people who try to intervene claim to understand my feelings or situation better than I do (like insisting I have repressed feelings for a parent I couldn't care less about), so its best to assume you know nothing when you talk to them and proceed by acknowledging what they say about themselves.

I hope this is useful. Good luck.
MrsA is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-17-2021, 07:09 AM   #8
TishaBuv
Wise Elder
 
TishaBuv's Avatar
TishaBuv ...and don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven... 'cause it hasn't
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 9,179 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
1,439 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Do victims of longtime abuse show signs of sociopathy/psychopathy themselves?

The abuser triggers the fight/flight response in the victim. Eventually the lines can blur between the two.

Iím not sure about showing signs of psycho and sociopathology. Personally, Iíve been doing lots of fighting/flighting but not negative behavior to any of those degrees.

If you had met this person and was thinking about pursuing them for a relationship, and you saw they exhibit these traits, would you still be interested in pursuing? You need to self protect what you allow yourself to be subjected to in relationships, IMHO.

The best way you can help as a friend is to encourage them to get professional help.
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!"
. About Me--T
TishaBuv is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 04-27-2021, 05:42 PM   #9
Zipper dog
Member
Zipper dog has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2021
Location: Silver City
Posts: 38
30 hugs
given
Default Re: Do victims of longtime abuse show signs of sociopathy/psychopathy themselves?

I confess. Yes! Mainly now I would have made a great dominetrix. I'm pretty jaded towards men and tend to have sadistic tendencies. Don't get me wrong. It's too late to act out in this lifetime. Maybe the next one. Great topic of conversation. Thanks for asking! Hugs...
Zipper dog is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 04-27-2021, 07:26 PM   #10
MsLady
Poohbah
MsLady has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2020
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,143 (SuperPoster!)
1 yr Member
360 hugs
given
Default Re: Do victims of longtime abuse show signs of sociopathy/psychopathy themselves?

Can you explain what specific behaviours she's exhibiting?
MsLady is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old Yesterday, 05:35 PM   #11
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 91,704 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
73.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Do victims of longtime abuse show signs of sociopathy/psychopathy themselves?

Thanks for this well put post. I'm wondering if you could elaborate re any of her behaviours.
__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:34 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun on Psych Central in 2001. It now runs as an independent community, overseen by a group of volunteers & Dr. John Grohol.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.