Not sure

So I’m not entirely sure how to start this, my ex and me have a very volatile relationship, I’m sure it would be considered what some people call a trauma bond. Anyway very early when we met or started sleeping together not sure l, I was 18. I was essentially trying to die when I look back at it or punishing myself by doing the things I was doing. Well not sure how but one night me and a friend went and hung out with his brother and their cousin at his sisters house... we were playing dominoes and getting high because that’s how I dealt with life back then. So for some reason that night me and my friend didn’t leave. I ended up being tired and going to bed, well at some point during me being asleep I thought I was dreaming that I had sex with his brother only to find out the next morning when I woke up that it was actually all very real... now my ex I have told this to thousands of times but all he focuses on is why did I even go over there. I’ve told him I don’t know why I went over there I can’t remember and I only remember bits and pieces. Was it my fault that it happened to me, I need to know....

Do you have professional help?

That was rape......I hope you will get professional help, and I am so sorry;

Not your fault at all, I doubt you’d have gone, or at least not stayed, if you’d known it would happen. This person was an opportunistic predator and your ex is angry at the wrong person.

A woman has a right to sleep without someone having sex with her while she's unconscious. That is rape. Do you have someone you can talk to?