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Old 03-31-2021, 08:34 PM   #1
inmybed
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Trig How do i get a diagnosis and healing ?

I was abused by my parents for as long as i can recall. I lived with my grandparents who moved in once they saw the abuse.

My dad then left for almost 2 years. Came back and took my mum, me and my siblings away for a fresh start.

The abuse got worse. My teacher got concerned over bruises on my face where my dad had hit me. I had lied told them I got in a fight with my friend. And then that blew over.

And then when i was 9 my mum left. My dad had worked all the time and we didn’t take care of ourselves. A couple of weeks later and my hair got so matted, teachers would volunteer to try untangle it. Eventually i got my hair chopped off into a boy cut.

We moved again some time after.

In year 6-7 ish i got bullied for having short hair and looking boyish. Also for being poc in a white school.

My mum came back when i was 12 and explained it was bc she had to get cancer treatment and she was okay now.

Only except she was mentally unstable, had lots of suicidal breakdowns, hid in random places, overall just really not okay. And my dad was an alcoholic now.

So my siblings and I were broke. We didn’t get free school meals bc technically my parents earned enough but they never spent much on us.

Whilst this was happening, from ages 11-17 i got abused by my older cousin who was in his mid 20s. And when i told my parents they told me to suck it up, move on, get over it, stop being dramatic/white washed.

And during that too, I got groomed at 14-15 by an older friend who i thought was 18 but was actually was in his mid 20s.

And at 15 i found out my mum lied about having cancer and at the time she was lying about having a brain cyst too. She even took random drugs shed find from the internet as ‘evidence’ and she’d pretend to faint.

And at the moment i’m 18 and surprisingly all is calm. my mum s fakes illness and exaggerates stuff but not as seriously. And my dad goes to AA now. I no longer contact my cousin though my parents do still have a friendly relationship.

And now im just trying to heal. Ive had symptoms of social anxiety since i was 15 but in 2019 i hit an all time high of panic attacks triggered by social situations. I think i get depressed and i have been suicidal in the past. i did sh but have been clean and i have had insomnia since 14.

so now its just a matter of healing and trying to live my life happier.

Last edited by bluekoi; 03-31-2021 at 10:57 PM.. Reason: Add trigger icon.
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Old 04-01-2021, 05:26 PM   #2
Open Eyes
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Default Re: How do i get a diagnosis and healing ?

I think it would benefit you a lot if you could see a therapist. Are you still in school? How old are you now?
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Old 04-09-2021, 08:48 AM   #3
ShaneG
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Default Re: How do i get a diagnosis and healing ?

Here's a link DX'd - Other - Schizophrenia.com
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