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FallenIntoDarkness
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 19
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Default Apr 16, 2021 at 11:40 AM
  #1
Hey folks,

I was going to register an account but it appears I still have one from many years ago when I was talking about the first abusive relationship I’ve had.

I just left one that is far far worse. At first, it was magic and full of love until I moved in. Then the hitting, the hair pulling, the punching, the kicking, the throwing to the ground and mental emotional abuse started. Whenever she didn’t get her way she would put me down. Whenever she was unhappy about some aspect of her life, she took it out on me.

I was in this for almost a year, and we were planning on buying a house and having a child together. When I found out she was cheating, I confronted her about it and she kicked me out of our home without regard to me. I left to my hometown in a daze with most of my worldly possessions in my car.

I contacted various forms of support but right now I’m absolutely devastated. My life has been turned upside down and I am feeling quite down. Can anyone tell me what their experience of grief with this was and how it will look like in the future?
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RollercoasterLover
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Location: New Jersey
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Default Apr 16, 2021 at 01:33 PM
  #2
The future will be happier. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. I'm sorry you are hurting. I'm sorry there isn't more I can do except tell you that.
I was relieved when my abuser kicked me out of his life. I took it as my opportunity to build my life for me without anyone else telling me how I should look, what I should say, when I should be home, who I could talk to....It takes time to become your own person, but you are worth your own investment.

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MsLady
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Default Apr 25, 2021 at 05:35 PM
  #3
Sorry to hear all this. I'd suggest looking into why you're drawn to abusive partners and start there. Research tell-tale red flags of potential abusive relationships. There are always signs.. one big one is moving forward too quickly and love bombing.

As for this girl, please be grateful you didn't have children with her after all. Check out the grieving stages for toxic relationships. I'd post a link I once found but I don't have it on hand.

Big hugs!
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Default Apr 27, 2021 at 03:45 PM
  #4
[QUOTE=FallenIntoDarkness;7059271]Hey folks,

I was going to register an account but it appears I still have one from many years ago when I was talking about the first abusive relationship I’ve had.

I just left one that is far far worse. At first, it was magic and full of love until I moved in. Then the hitting, the hair pulling, the punching, the kicking, the throwing to the ground and mental emotional abuse started. Whenever she didn’t get her way she would put me down. Whenever she was unhappy about some aspect of her life, she took it out on me.

I was in this for almost a year, and we were planning on buying a house and having a child together. When I found out she was cheating, I confronted her about it and she kicked me out of our home without regard to me. I left to my hometown in a daze with most of my worldly possessions in my car.

I contacted various forms of support but right now I’m absolutely devastated. My life has been turned upside down and I am feeling zzquite down. Can anyone tell me what their experience of grief with this was and how it will look like in the future?[/QUOTE

It's a loss and how long your grief lasts is up to you. Please do take all the time you need. Never let anyone tell you to get over it. If you need to talk, seek out a compassionate person or professional who will listen. Hugs...
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