Vivid triggering dream 😔

Really disturbing dream last night. Based in a building much like the one I used to work in which was purpose built, but instead of being new like that, it was an older style. It was a huge building with multiple stairways that led to all kinds of places, some dead ends. It was almost like it could’ve been a college or university or something.

I was with someone else, maybe a colleague/friend (I’m not sure), and we were running. We’d go down corridors, down the stairs and end up at a dead end so go back up and to the next one. Not even sure what I was running from or to? At different points we met people along the way. We’d say hi and continue on our way. One time, there was a guy that was chatting to us. I think I was mostly talking with him. Not sure what happened but then the next thing he’d pulled his joggers down and his boxers, exposing himself to us (and everyone else!). I remember him being large and long from the very brief moment when I saw he was semi-naked. I’d been quite oblivious to it really. It was alarming.

The person I was with grabbed my arm and yanked me away. We started running again. We stopped in what appeared to be like a staff room or chill room of sorts. There was a mini kitchenette, with a table/chairs on one side, a sofa on the other and an armchair too. There was other people around. I’d sat on the couch and was becoming more and more stuck in my head. Everyone was trying to get my attention but I was ‘gone’. Someone else had joined us, a woman with twins. They were quite small still so not very old. They were in like a duffel bag, with the zip up part the way. The person I was originally with said something about getting someone. But then I appeared to be by myself, with the babies by my side. They were a little grizzly so I put my hand on them and they were fine.

In my head, I was stuck in a vision of a man that made me perform. He was a giant, and his bits were massive, by contrast to how small I was. Just little one I was. I could see this man was making me perform orally on him. Triggered by seeing that other man’s manhood. How his size was similar to that of the man in the vision/memory I appeared to be having. Prior to this and meeting that guy, it was all jokes and laughing. The vision is a reality from long ago, but words being too difficult to truly verbalise it. Very painful.

A few minutes after she’d left, a guy walked in, someone who appeared to be either my boss, or mentor, or something of that nature. The ‘mum’ whose twins were next to me, was in the hall screaming that I’d kidnapped her children. Not at all what happened. She left them. I was ’gone’, ‘not there’ at all. My attention turned slightly when this man came in to talk to me. He walked in purposefully and slow so as not to scare me. Initially he was asking what was happening, if I was ok. I couldn’t talk, I was numb, void of all feeling and so stuck in the realms of my head. He kept saying how it was ok, that he knew I’d been struggling for so long and he will get some help. How he’d pay for a specialist for me. It was all very weird. He just kept reassuring me. I was looking through him kinda in a way because I couldn’t focus and was still stuck in my head.

The mum burst in the door, screaming and crying about the babies she’d left. Not so much as a thank you for watching them. She snatched the duffel bag they were in. What the heck is that all about? The children being twins is significant, as I’m a twin too. I don’t have a relationship with her, a choice she made. That pains me too. She pains me!!

Time seemed to change and appeared with my youngest in the car with me. How we’d end up going home. Got out the car and he’s inflated this giant thing. Looked like a bouncy castle but then didn’t. It was round-ish and huge. He’s sat on top of it, screaming ‘yee-haw’ as though riding like a cowboy, making as much noise as possible. The inflated object was making a lot of noise too, almost like it was on a generator or something. I started to scream at him to get off and deflate it. I’d said how loud he was being and that it was 2 in the morning and needed to be quiet for everyone else, or he’d wake the whole street. Not long after that, I deflated it and went to bed. Shortly afterwards I was abruptly woken by a knock on the door at stupid-o’ clock