Felt like my aunt was painting me angry and crazy for admitting to abuse

The title says it all.

It just makes me feel like disconnecting from her to save my sanity. She seemed to almost try to provoke responses and then try to use my reaction to paint me as angry, poisonous and “dramatic”

She approached me saying she was going to give my address to my abuser (mother) whom had incited my adult brother to attack me when I was a young teen.

She knew I was no contact with my mother for 10 years. She knew the history. She was deeply offended when I said “omg I’d disown you.” I was being facetious in my tone. She felt threatened by my response and used my reaction to depict my character as toxic, and accused me of attacking her in a later argument.

Of course, in a later argument she outright denied ever saying she was going to give my address and portrayed it as me emotionally abusing her.

I remember discussing with my aunt some of the abuse I went through with my mother. My mother incited my adult brother to attack me, and threaten me with my life. She lied to everyone about my behaviour. I had no idea of the depth of her lies, but from what I can gather, she constantly put me in the role of aggressor. She had wrapped teachers and children services around her finger. I felt like if I told them anything my abuse would get worse, or I’d be institutionalized.

Mental hospitals were used as threats. After my brother left home (just as his abuse escalated into brandishing a gun in my face), my mother made up some half assed story about me stealing her bathing suit. I wound up being sent to a group home over it. I remember my mother said she did these things because she loved me. I told my aunt I absolutely hated my mother in that moment.

My aunt used the stories I told her to bar my attending my mother’s cremation because she said “everyone thinks you’re angry, even (my mother’s partner) thinks you’re angry”

My brother (my abuser) twittered to my aunt that I said I hated my mother, and used it as a reason to bar my getting any details on my mother’s cremation and estate. They insisted I would have an “outburst.”

My brother stonewalled me and my aunt triangulated information in such a way I got no information.

My brother made me feel like I was being rude, and inappropriate when I asked him for information. He said I’d be too upsetting to be around for her partner.

My aunt told me preventing my participation was a necessary evil, because they needed to protect my mother’s partner from my potential “outbursts.”

I wanted to go because I felt it was no one’s business to tell me how to grieve my mother, or to tell me I was too angry. I thought it was an act of cowardice to shield her partner from me, like I’m somehow a dirty secret.

I said it sounds like they should worry about the inappropriate behaviour out of my brother. I accused him of projecting.

My aunt accused me of starting drama.

She denied gossiping. I said she sounds disingenuous.

She lashed out. Called me crazy, poisonous and dramatic and cited my threatening to disown her, and she denied knowing where my mother lived. She lied about how she started the conversation and twisted my tone to sound like I was attacking her.

She tried to infer that I was lying about my brother abusing me because from her standpoint, he was a victim of my mother.

I told her to try basic empathy, and said my brother was an adult when he chose to abuse me.

She told me I was bordering into a psychosis and said I was harassing her.

She looped another person in the conversation. I asked them to stop contacting me.

My concern is they’re going to try to get after me either through a smear campaign of some kind, or my brother will do something vindictive. I changed my contact details. I might try to break my lease early. I’m avoiding my address as much as possible.

I just don’t trust them.

You should go no contact with your aunt. She's not on your side.

Done. I am expecting her to rewrite reality and tell everyone this version of reality. She's almost a sick as my mom was.