Is this SA? Trigger Warning

Mi Amor · 01:29 AM

Trigger warning

I'm not sure if I can call this sexual assault. My ex fiance wanted another child while I didnt at the time.

Possible trigger:

He did ignore me "protesting" about having intimacy at that moment but proceeded anyway. I could've probably pushed him off but just lay there crying. I didn't fight because I thought he might e been drinking and that's when he can become violent.

It's just the "I could've" that makes me say no.

I did conceive from that as well. I love my son but it's tough to get over that's how he was made.

moodyblue83 · Apr 18, 2023 at 07:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mi Amor

Trigger warning

I'm not sure if I can call this sexual assault. My ex fiance wanted another child while I didnt at the time.

Possible trigger:

He did ignore me "protesting" about having intimacy at that moment but proceeded anyway. I could've probably pushed him off but just lay there crying. I didn't fight because I thought he might e been drinking and that's when he can become violent.

It's just the "I could've" that makes me say no.

I did conceive from that as well. I love my son but it's tough to get over that's how he was made.

If you love your son why do you care about how he was conceived ? If you felt you were raped why didn't you get an abortion ? At least it is your husbands child. The fact that he was drunk I'm sure had something to do with his behavior. I'm not excusing his behavior at all , but the issue now is you have a son , that you love. Continue to love that child and maybe he'll grow up and change the world. Seems like he was meant to be here.
Btw: maybe you should talk out your inner feelings about this with a therapist.

Pflowers · Apr 21, 2023 at 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mi Amor

Trigger warning

I'm not sure if I can call this sexual assault. My ex fiance wanted another child while I didnt at the time.

Possible trigger:

He did ignore me "protesting" about having intimacy at that moment but proceeded anyway. I could've probably pushed him off but just lay there crying. I didn't fight because I thought he might e been drinking and that's when he can become violent.

It's just the "I could've" that makes me say no.

I did conceive from that as well. I love my son but it's tough to get over that's how he was made.

_____________

Most definitely a sexual assault!

I'm sorry this happened to you ...

I hope you're able to get some help processing the event ...

As well as help regarding the impact it's now having on how you relate to your son.

You & your son deserve to not have to carry the burden of guilt over something that was not y'all's fault!

National Sexual Assault Hotline
Hours: Available 24 hours
1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Sincerely,
Pflower

Mi Amor · Apr 22, 2023 at 10:45 AM

@MoodyBlue , I think you need to rethink your entire response. Not sure your know the first thing that you're talking about and should keep these opinions to yourself.

pliepla · Apr 25, 2023 at 02:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mi Amor

Trigger warning

I'm not sure if I can call this sexual assault. My ex fiance wanted another child while I didnt at the time.

Possible trigger:

He did ignore me "protesting" about having intimacy at that moment but proceeded anyway. I could've probably pushed him off but just lay there crying. I didn't fight because I thought he might e been drinking and that's when he can become violent.

It's just the "I could've" that makes me say no.

I did conceive from that as well. I love my son but it's tough to get over that's how he was made.

Your protesting makes it non-consensual; in my book that makes it a sexual assault. It is not the theoretical possibility of pushing somebody off that un-makes it non-consensual. You most likely had a reason not to: a history of violence as you point out for instance. Regardless, a no should be a no in all circumstances.

I do hope you find a way to get over it. Do you have a therapist? There are efficient approachs that help you deal with such traumatic experiences (e.g. emdr).

Also, I admire you for loving your son no matter what. Many would find that hard to do and I sincerely hope you can continue to do so.

Hugs!

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Mi Amor Junior Member Member Since Apr 2023 Location: USA Posts: 16 1 14 hugs given	Apr 22, 2023 at 10:45 AM #4 @MoodyBlue , I think you need to rethink your entire response. Not sure your know the first thing that you're talking about and should keep these opinions to yourself.
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