Abused?

Hello , I’m new here and wasn’t sure what category to put this in and I now know after being with councillors that what I went through was abuse but not in what you would say is typical abuse behaviour, I’m on medication and suffer from depression and anxiety, I’m in my 50s now but still struggle

So wind back to when I was 12 I was always fascinated with mums clothes and she always dressed well for her job , I think a lot of boys experiment and I used to love dressing up in her clothes until the inevitable happened and I got caught she went mad ,she spanked me and from then on took every opportunity to embarrass and humiliate me , she took me shopping and she brought lots of underwear ,tights and made my try on dresses/skirts and sandles making me walk home in a dress and sandles much to a lot of people’s amusement
So at home I was dressed on a regular basis for family and friends to see and they knew at school as well , mixed in with spankings at home and lots of public outings in girls clothes it was awful growing up , now I do crossdress not sure why and I find it hard to get turned in unless I’m being embarrassed, I really feel in a never ending loop

Yes. You were definitely abused by your mother. There is no question. I am so sorry this happened to you. You were treated cruelly and without respect and understanding.


So sorry you have depression and anxiety. There are many on this forum who also experience this, including myself.

Have you been to therapy? Do you want to change the way you relate to your sexuality?


There are people who make their way into the BDSM world when they find the need to cross-dress or explore their sexuality with embarrassment or humiliation. Have you tried BDSM?

If you do want to break out of the never-ending loop you might need to look into therapy that incorporates EFT-tapping and EMDR, maybe even Gestalt.


There is a good example of a trauma survivor who undergoes EFT-tapping in the Netflix show called "Heal".

I hope you find peace, healing and self-acceptance.

I am so sorry your mother was cruel....Yes, that was abuse

That is awful. I'm so sorry you went through that.

Hi my gal thanks for your message I have had therapy helped a but but yes I have explored the darker side if bdsm im not really sure what I want or what I’m looking for , I’m sorry to hear you suffer with depression too

Hey man, I can totally relate to your story. I used to get physically and emotionally abused by my sister. She was two years younger so it was very humiliating but she was very sportive and was in the girls rugby and soccer teams. She would fight dirty and knew where to kick me during fights and constantly threatened to turn me into a girl all the time and gave me fake kicks (if didn’t kick me there). She gave me a girl name and When we were alone or were with her friends and cousins, she would also dress me up, put make up on me and tease me that this is how I would look like after she is done with me. I have also developed all types of fetishes now and it turns me on being dressed up by my partner and being humiliated. I am in therapy but have accepted that I need humiliation to get turned on. I read it is a way of coping mechanism so our brain turns something traumatic into something pleasurable to deal with it.