I found some drawings from when I was a kid, and I'm really confused

Hello, I'm a 22F. Ever since I can remember, SA content (represented in movies, series, news, etc.) has always made me feel uncomfortable (as it should), but it has also made me feel obsessed (replaying those scenes in my head, sometimes picturing myself as the victim). I have always felt ashamed of having these thoughts; they made me feel like I had lost something, similar to grief, but I couldn't stop thinking about them. I don't know if this happens to most people since these topics are rarely talked about.

Anyway, a few days ago, I came across some drawings from when I was six years old. From what I can see, there is a man with something hanging from his legs or that area is scratched. There are about four drawings like this. Additionally, there are some drawings of a crying girl, but they are not on the same page as the man (I think the girl might represent me). I have no recollection of these drawings, and I don't know if they might have any significance.

I'm unsure who to talk to about this. I don't know if this is normal or if I'm exaggerating. What can I do?

I'm so sorry you are distressed. I would be too if I found drawings like that. A psychotherapist might be able to help you sort it all out. They can be expensive though. There are online therapists but I don't know much about that and I think even they charge a fee.

The brain is mysterious and sometimes we cannot figure out what it is trying to tell us. You probably already know all this since I think you have some knowledge of psychology. I do too but not enough to offer you any advice, sadly. I sure hope other members here with more knowledge, experience and insight will see your post and respond to it with something really helpful to you. My heart goes out to you!

It’s possible. Have you sought out therapy?

The thing about looking at drawings done by children and done in childhood when adults look back at them from their adult point of view is subjective. anyone can read anything into them.

but when you think about it in general and normally a child sees and draws things according to shapes. triangles, circles, squares and such. So when a trained person looks at a childs drawing they dont immediately jump to omg they drew something extra that looks x rated so they must be being abused.

a drawing of a person with "something" extra just says the child is old enough to know the difference between the physical body of a boy and a girl. the same with pictures depicting emotions. they can mean all kinds of things, from make believe to a child who was told no they cant watch their favorite tv show to any number of things.

all this and more my treatment providers and I talked about when talking about my childhood pictures. maybe your own treatment provider and you can have these kinds of discussions too and sort out what these pictures are about, only you know because you drew them, you know your family history and so on.