[MtnTime2896]

there was no me before bad things happened. i don't remember feeling safe in my upbringing, with anyone or for any reason. i was terrified. always terrified.

so many years in fear, approximately two decades.. i'm seven years out from it. i can say i know what it's like to feel safe now and to have breaks from fear. for this i am thankful.

i don't feel safe at the moment, not with memories storming my mind. so many, each a varying degree of traumatizing.

my hope for a full recovery is very limited. i want that, but i don't see this ever getting to the point where i'm normal.

Possible trigger:

si is at a terrifying level and the fear i feel is for those around me. if i leave, will they manage? probably in time but they'd hurt like i hurt now.

i was at the hands of a psychopath for a long time. someone who took pleasure getting inside my head, manipulating and ultimately managing to brainwash me.

seven years and it's still very difficult for me to talk about this. i'm very unwell and i need help.

"wait again, i will be much better then. holding on i said, i will be much better then."

[Fuzzybear]

Love to you bud (I’ll write tomorrow, have to sleep)

[Fuzzybear]

I'm so sorry you were at the hands of a psychopath. I also have experienced that

I'm always here for you (I had to sleep for too long but I'm here now)

I have hope for you, you're strong, smart, kind and insightful. I know it might not feel that way with the memories storming inside our mind(s)

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by MtnTime2896

there was no me before bad things happened. i don't remember feeling safe in my upbringing, with anyone or for any reason. i was terrified. always terrified.

so many years in fear, approximately two decades.. i'm seven years out from it. i can say i know what it's like to feel safe now and to have breaks from fear. for this i am thankful.

i don't feel safe at the moment, not with memories storming my mind. so many, each a varying degree of traumatizing.

my hope for a full recovery is very limited. i want that, but i don't see this ever getting to the point where i'm normal.

Possible trigger:

si is at a terrifying level and the fear i feel is for those around me. if i leave, will they manage? probably in time but they'd hurt like i hurt now.

i was at the hands of a psychopath for a long time. someone who took pleasure getting inside my head, manipulating and ultimately managing to brainwash me.

seven years and it's still very difficult for me to talk about this. i'm very unwell and i need help.

"wait again, i will be much better then. holding on i said, i will be much better then."

I believe you.