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Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Doing donuts in the parking lot
Posts: 4,276
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#1
there was no me before bad things happened. i don't remember feeling safe in my upbringing, with anyone or for any reason. i was terrified. always terrified.
so many years in fear, approximately two decades.. i'm seven years out from it. i can say i know what it's like to feel safe now and to have breaks from fear. for this i am thankful. i don't feel safe at the moment, not with memories storming my mind. so many, each a varying degree of traumatizing. my hope for a full recovery is very limited. i want that, but i don't see this ever getting to the point where i'm normal.
Possible trigger:
i was at the hands of a psychopath for a long time. someone who took pleasure getting inside my head, manipulating and ultimately managing to brainwash me. seven years and it's still very difficult for me to talk about this. i'm very unwell and i need help. "wait again, i will be much better then. holding on i said, i will be much better then." __________________ "Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
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Buffy01, Fuzzybear, MuddyBoots, stahrgeyzer
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,443
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
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#2
Love to you bud (I’ll write tomorrow, have to sleep)
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MtnTime2896
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,443
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
given |
#3
I'm so sorry you were at the hands of a psychopath. I also have experienced that
I'm always here for you (I had to sleep for too long but I'm here now) I have hope for you, you're strong, smart, kind and insightful. I know it might not feel that way with the memories storming inside our mind(s) __________________ |
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MtnTime2896
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MtnTime2896
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,059
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6 10k hugs
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#4
Quote:
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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