Trying to be Better

Knickerbocker · Nov 09, 2023 at 06:47 PM

So, one of the weirdest parts about realizing that I'd been abused my whole life and that what I had experienced was not normal has been having to confront all of the toxic traits I've adopted.

I've realized that my whole life I've carried a certain arrogance and superiority, tearing others down to build myself up, talking about people behind their back, believing the world was out to get me, always looking for the negative side, all kinds of toxic things my father does.

I never thought of myself as being a bad person, but I'm realizing that in a lot of instances I actually was the problem. It's been eye-opening and I have a lot of shame and embarrassment, but I'm trying to use that to change and be a better person. Rebuilding myself from the ground up is incredibly difficult and horribly uncomfortable, but also kind of freeing. I just hope I can stick with it.

cravinmaven · Nov 10, 2023 at 12:31 PM

Learned behavior is a difficult one. I think it's wonderful that you have noted these things about yourself and you are willing to change.

Keep moving forward, not backwards. Let go of the shame by forgiving yourself.
You can't change the past, but you can change your future. Going forward, treat others how you wish to be treated. Then there will be no shame in your game. ;-)

Try to forgive your father to, even if it's a daily chore. Sometimes it's bitterness on top of learned behavior that causes us to act inappropriately.

Fuzzybear · Nov 10, 2023 at 01:42 PM

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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,360 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.3k hugs given	Nov 10, 2023 at 01:42 PM #3 __________________
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