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New Member
Member Since Dec 2023
Location: europe
Posts: 2
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Dec 24, 2023 at 06:01 AM
#1
hi, i was
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this entire situation just makes me feel so hopeless especially since i have to see him today and i just dont know what to do with that i dont know how ill be able to cope because it literally feels like my entire life has come to an end ever since
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 Abusedbysister, CANDC, unaluna
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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
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Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,786
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Dec 24, 2023 at 02:16 PM
#2
@laval4mp welcome to MSF. I am sorry that you are in a relationship that sounds very challenging and you feel obligated to pretend all is well. Have you considered changing your plans for the concert because how easy will it be to be playing music with someone that sounds like they are being abusive?
What about your own self care, are you thinking of getting a therapist or support group to help you cope with this difficult situation? Things may be slow around the holiday weekend here. Hope you get the support you are looking for. @CANDC __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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New Member
Member Since Dec 2023
Location: europe
Posts: 2
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Dec 24, 2023 at 05:27 PM
#3
Quote:
 im seeing a psychologist in January for many reasons so if needed i can talk to her about this experience but im scared to open up to anyone about this because i feel like my experience is invalid because someone so close to me did it if that makes sense? my best friend does know and is trying to support me through this but its still really hard. thank you for replying i really appreciate it
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Grand Member
Member Since May 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 901
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Dec 24, 2023 at 08:45 PM
#4
Kimmy' neighbor: "You can't keep running into a brick wall."
Kimmy: "Shows what you know. Sorry, giving up isn't my jam. My jams are grape, Jock, and Space." Titus: "Hashtag respectmyjourney." ~ Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Life turns on a dime. It CAN get better! Give tomorrow a chance. And the day after tomorrow... I had two wonderful surprises today, and I wouldn't have been able to experience them if I'd made a different choice the other night. Keep going. Make positive changes in your life. __________________  https://imaginativefusion.wixsite.com/mysite/blogWinners are losers who got up and gave it one more try. - Dennis DeYoung "It is possible to turn poison into medicine." ~ Tina Turner Remember we're all in this alone. ~ Lily Tomlin |
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Member
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 133
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Dec 26, 2023 at 12:06 PM
#5
I am sorry to hear about your ordeal. I have been abused all my life so I know how you feel.. I have been in abusive relationships since I can remember, including romantic ones, and it will get worse. Pretty soon, the abused will be under the control of the abuser. What I have learned is: (1) open up about it to your trusted friends and therapist. Most abuses come from those who are close to us., whether physical, psychological or sexual; (2) End the relationship as soon as possible. Otherwise, it will get worse. It is easier said than done but the abuser will not change for the better but always changes for the worse. These are my two words of wisdom from my experience. My advice: throw away the tickets or take someone else.
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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
Chat Leader
Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,786
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10 2,350 hugs
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Dec 26, 2023 at 10:40 PM
#6
Quote:
Please know that your experience is not only valid, but is very common. I have read that most assaults are done by a person that one has a relationship with or a relative. The other thing I have read is that survivors of abuse often blame themselves as if they did something to deserve it. That is victim blaming. You are not to blame it is not your fault. Take that up with the therapist. I would not tell more people who are not professionals about it because most people do not understand trauma. They might not react in an appropriate way. However, the one person I would tell is the Therapist. They will be able to help you more if you reveal the trauma. If they do not know how to work with trauma, it may be time to seek out a therapist that does. What about telling your BF how about I give you both tickets and you take someone else hopefully a male friend? But that could be disturbing if he ends up bringing another woman. Maybe this is better discussed with the therapist and see what they say. @CANDC __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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 speckofdust
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