How to deal with abuse

Butcher and the new guy didn't spend the night here. It was quiet. Still slept with anxiety that he may show up any time. Got some decent rest, though.

Watched Qigong Ecstasy with Robert Peng | The Way of Virtue - YouTube and got an idea of QiGong. I now understand why Bessel van der Kolk likes it.

The Ukrainian guy is the one who steals. Last night was a rough night again for sleep. Got woken up several times by the butcher as he went mad saying things were stolen from him. As well as being bothered by the new guy's snoring. Have to manage again coding while being sleep deprived.

Talked with the shelter manager. Surprisingly, he was receptive (despite our history) and said he'll think about something (he has a room with a nice guy in mind). He'll let me know this week. It seems there might be a chance for me to get into a better room. Though, he warned me that if I do the move, I won't be able to move back. I think I'll take the risk. Living with the butcher (overt sociopath) and the Ukrainian (covert sociopath) is pretty difficult. The new guy is a guy from a different room with whom the covert sociopath (who abused me), C. D., exchanged beds (reason being, the manager told me, that the "new" guy drinks alcohol and he wanted a low bed so he doesn't have to climb the stairs). So much with the rules regarding substance abuse. I guess the state doesn't want people on the streets or changing shelters too often. This shelter just became a low threshold shelter. Ugh. I can only hope that, if I get to move in the new room, things will be better.

Talked with shelter manager and, after asking me what happened to the cabinet door and me replying it was the butcher who severed it, and, answering who's items are in the cabinet (Ukrainian guy and the butcher), I got my good news: I'll be moving to the other room (room #2) tomorrow. Fingers crossed it'll be better rather than worse. I'm hoping no one steals from me, or each other, and that my roommates are not sociopaths. Not feeling confident about the latter. Not feeling too confident about the former, either. Oh, well...

Had a decent day. Making some progress on my app (thanks to the help of others).

I watched and boy does it resonate with me.

Today's the day. Or better said, tonight. At 8pm I'll move to the new room. Fingers crossed for:
• having decent roommates
• no abuse of any kind
• having a place to store my belongings
• being able to rest
• a clean bathroom

Move moved to 8:30pm. Let's gooo! 2 hours and 25 minutes remaining.

Also, why are highlights from Roland Garros soooo short? Ugh!

Moved to the new room. It's just me and this other guy. He was suspiciously quiet. Asked him to help me move the bunk bed so I can get my extender pulled to the bed. He helped. Made some remarks about having the extender pulled to the bed, wrapped around the steel bars not being safe. I'm not fully confident he's safe. I fear sexual abuse. I'll have to wait and see. Fingers crossed.

New room, new roommate. Moved in yesterday at 8:30pm. Bathroom clean, room not so clean (pile of clothes) - however, there are no bad odors, surprisingly, roommate, J., doesn't seem to steal (didn't go through my stuff, at least for now), night was ok - no funny things attempted. Will have to see with more time passing how things develop.

Well, things aren't that bad. It seems the guy minds his own business even if he has C-PTSD. So far, I had no issues. Today I made some progress regarding my app. Treated myself in a new York style shop by getting a vegan chocolate donut with a decaf oat latte. Tomorrow will be nice.

Feeling constantly exhausted and burned out. I managed to work a few hours today. Wished I could do more (2 more hours). I'm thinking of coopting someone into the project. Asked ChatGPT to draft an NDA for me.

This new potential partner is interested (I wrote to him just in time - he graduated this year). I contacted a lawyer in order for us to review the NDA drafted by ChatGPT and also a partnership contract, also drafted by ChatGPT. I'm sure they'll require more work, and I hope the costs won't be too high. Fingers crossed.

My shelter roommate has been away since Friday. It's nice to get some alone time in the room. If it would have been like this most of the time, it would have been great.

Searching for a movie to watch, though most of them are garbage. So hard to find a nice movie nowadays. On Friday (?), I watched Hitch. Classic. And it's interesting to see how I moved from that to psychology as I grew up. Saw Apollo 11 documentary a few times. I'll leave it for another time. Oppenheimer saw it at least a dozen times, I deleted the download (it was getting too much). However! What I'm waiting for is inside out 2. Which! Will be available for rent in August or early October. Ugh! Dying over here!
ChatGPT generated a list of movies set in New York from the 90s onwards, and can't find one that I like. They're all with crime, gangs, fantasy or affairs. I think I'll go with Sex and the City. I'll probably regret it. Oh, well...

No movies today. I watched

Listened to Unsupported browser - such a good episode. Reflects C-PTSD implications for a society so well.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I really feel for you. I live in a group home and I know it can be difficult.

Thank you, @Raven1976 . What's a group home?

Tonight was the first rough night in the new room. Not a big issue per se, though it left me finding sleep difficult and that is: snoring. My roommate was snoring so loud that it woke me up!

@CTSDVictim: I am very sorry you are struggling, and that sounds like a tumultuous environment. I feel guilty sometimes about my work, writing, and inheritance. I own two homes and have property all over the place. I have always been able to afford the best healthcare. I know some go to group homes for therapeutic reasons, some for health reasons and circumstances. I sit in my house with an RN on duty. There is always one here, even now. For whatever reason/s, you live there. If it is because you have to be, I would give you one of my homes. Why should I need more than one? Please be well; I have C-PTSD, so I know that battlefield well.

Thank you for your kind words. I hope you're feeling as best as it's possible in your fight against cancer. I don't know how it's like, but I can only imagine C-PTSD makes it so much more difficult.

I'm glad you have an RN on duty. Human connection is in the very (social) fabric of ours. Even for anti-socials like myself.