How to deal with abuse

Election results are in. Aaanndd... it doesn't look well. It could've been worse, but it also could've been better.

Made some progress with my app. Hoping I will finish this unit of work by end of the week. How is it that when one tests the functionality, 100 new things pop up. Oh, the story of software development...

Listened to . So glad I bought her audiobook. I totally resonate with the way she describes sociopathy as a lived experience. I hope I'll resume listening to the audiobook in the following days.

Here I'm. Scrolling the Internet. My trial period for Google cloud expired. Have to wait until tomorrow to resume work. I listened to the audiobook sociopath by Patric Gagne (yay for resuming it). I've unfollowed people and pages on Facebook that was tied to my home country as I disconnect from it and settle in my adoptive country. Next step: citizenship. Pursued a call this morning to see what are my options as a homeless person in getting citizenship, I'll find out more later this evening. Fingers crossed. With extremists coming to power it's not unlikely they'll start targeting the vulnerable population (especially if not a citizen of said country).

Had a rough day. On the positive side, got my work in for review. Almost 4000 additions and some removals. Tomorrow is the final day to get them in. Lots of work deferred for later. Iterations. Work, work, work!

Despite immature staff at the cinema, I saw Inside Out 2, and it was decent.

Yesterday was a good day. Got my changes in in the morning. Then, after a short break, off I went to officially start my day: had a coffee with a croissant, continued reading my CS paper, and started to work. Tested a few things, app still works. Prepared the new sprint, small break and off to lunch. Had lunch and a decaf oat latte, and went back working. Had a few small wins (low hanging, low priority, fruits), setup e-mail backup, and calculated some average user usage for the app. Tried to work on a bigger priority issue but, in the end, ran out of time: dinner time arrived. Had dinner, as usual: Chana Masala, medium spicy with some green chilli. Went to buy chocolate at the little, cosy, drinks store next door: they were out of chocolate. Oh, well. Too bad, I love their chocolate. No biggie: today, after having showered, shaved my beard and head (for the first time, without a back mirror, just using my phone to check the result), and taking this break, I'll have lunch and head for city center where I'll buy a pillow and a mirror.

Good things happen. Friday is less painful now.

Today went pocketa, pocketa, pocketa! Lunch was good, got all buses in time, did some shopping, ordered a barber's mirror online, bought some sweets, and just finished watching again Blade Runner 2049. I have to confess: I sometimes feel like KD6-3.7, or, more simply, Joe. 😅

Listened to

PG is so on point. I'm so glad she's put herself out there. Describes me to a T.

Also, this is my 100th post on this forum. Yay.

I'm at the embassy of my home country. Do I have to say how triggering it is every single time I have to deal with the people in here and the institution? The abuse and neglect I see is always triggering for me. Plus, the corrupt and incompetent state I've to deal with. Let's just say I'd have given anything not to have to deal with this situation.

I am signaled to go to the desk where I should be taken over by the public servant. I go to the desk, I say good day and what do I get back: "what for?" (as in what did I come for [for which documents]). Not even a good day back: "good day! what can I help you with?". Nope. I said I came for national document id. I'm told they don't process these type of requests. Only if I wish them to release a procurement. I nod (not that I want one, I just listen to him [DO NOT make the mistake of pointing out that they're in the stone age]). And, of course, he tells me that "I should make an appointment next time". Of course, if he would've been professional (something which is alien to these people) he would've known it's impossible to make one because the website doesn't offer an option.

What's worse is that this type of incompetent people emigrate to countries like my adoptive country and get hired in public jobs. I called law free aid organization, explained my situation and the lady (not from my home country) told me she spoke with her colleague (from my home country) and advised me to go to the embassy because they release national id cards there. Of course, it's not true as I found out, wasting my morning (I kind of already knew, I even deleted the event from my calendar to go to the embassy, but said "what the heck? Let's give it a try - what if I'm wrong"). And, of course, as a C-PTSD victim, plagued with self doubt, I once again fell victim to abusers. Isn't life great?

Anyways, rant over. Now I've two options: 1) if my app will be successful and I sell it, fly to home country (while mother is alive) and spend a few months there to sort the documents out, otherwise, 2) if no money: when the extremists will come to power (and trust me, they will), apply for political asylum in the adoptive country (fingers crossed at that point in time).

Did a bit of coding today and listened to Sociopath. Feeling a bit better, though, overall, still feeling off. Will eat dinner and head for the shelter. Tomorrow I've to figure out why my app is misbehaving. Hopefully I'll feel better after some sleep. Time heals. At least, the small wounds.

Unsupported browser

Debugged my app this morning and fixed a few things. Good start to a day before officially starting it.

A few nights ago, I think my roommate in his bed while I was sleeping. I was suspecting him of potentially being a sex offender. I woke up for a bit and the whole bed bunk frame was shaking, moved a little and he stopped while I fell back asleep. Not sure how to catch him on video. So far, he hasn't made any moves on me, and, he hasn't tried to establish a relationship (except once, when the fire alarm started and he sweared). I'm at an unease now. What if he decides to break in while I go to the bathroom and . Will see.

Today went smooth. More progress on my app. Hit a bug, however. Yet to figure out how to fix it.

Watched Dissociation Case Study: Courtney - YouTube

And could resonate with dissociation (I don't have did, though I disconnect from my body as a defense mechanism).

Good morning! Time to get some bugs smashed after brushing teeth and showering.

First, read: What <em>Inside Out 2</em> Reveals About the Diversity of Emotions

Interesting perspective.

So, the bug turns out to be more complex than I initially thought as I'm doing all the right things but still get a crash. Will need to dedicate specific time to deal with it. For which I already created a dedicated issue in my tracking platform. So, I'll leave it at that for now.

Meanwhile, read another article from GGSC: Five Practices for a Healthier Emotional Life in relation to Inside Out 2

And! They'll host a 1 hour live stream talking about Inside Out 2, in July. Registration here: Registration Form: The Science Behind Inside Out 2

Can't wait!

Today is a slow day. I've been feeling a bit low on energy lately. Wondering if I should take holiday. Maybe 2 weeks in July. Hmm...

Meanwhile, watched

Myeah, not my day. Gave up after encountering issues in displaying the datetime and buttons correctly. Need to learn how to make an app look beautiful.

Also, bought cinema tickets for despicable me 4 today. It's in July, so maybe I'll time my holiday with the movie. Not sure.

Alas, sometimes you have to know when to take a step back. Tomorrow morning I'll relax as I am low on battery for my laptop. And, not in the mood to charge it in the cafe where I'm heading to relax until dinner time. I'll probably watch more content on Inside Out 2.

I must say, the reaction to the first.movie I posted in previous post made me sad. I even shed a tear watching it. A mixture of heartfelt sadness followed by depression.

Ate some chips. Watched some Inside Out 2 cast videos. Gave another shot at the buttons and realized what I was missing. They're now fixed. Yay. Charging my laptop for tomorrow morning in case I'll get to implementing some more functionality. Sharing feature is what I'm thinking of.

At the ER. Took the bus and when I arrived I . Feeling a bit better. The nurse gave me some painkillers. I was feeling sharp pain in the upper part of my abdomen (where the stomach is) and back pain. I'll see a doctor. I hope they won't charge me what the medical card won't cover. Told the shelter staff when I left that I might come back after 11pm (when you can't enter the shelter anymore) and the staff was understanding and wished me well. Now that the pain subsided quite a bit, I can breathe. The downside is, I might have my antipsychotic. Will have to wait until I see the doctor to see if I can get a pill just to be on the safe side.

The doc saw me. Told me I've gastritis and that I'll have to take some tablets. If the symptoms persist, I'll have to have a scope down my throat. She also told me that if I took the anti psychotic 1 hour and a ½ before vomiting, I should be ok. Phew. Now I'm waiting on my blood results and to give in my urine sample. Sigh. Hopefully it's nothing bad. I really don't have money for eating healthier or finding better alternatives.

Tests ok. Prescription received. They were kind enough to pay for my taxi to go "home". I'm waiting for it to arrive. 3:03am here. Hopefully I'll get some sleep. A few hours would be good. The rest of the day, I'm taking it easy. No working in the morning. Will have lunch, a free coffee (from collecting loyalty stamps) and then I'll buy my prescription and go work.