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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
Posts: 629
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#1
I live in s homeless shelter in a room with four beds. Two of which, at the time of writing this, are empty and expecting inhabitants. We'll see who turns up, though I don't have high expectations.
Luckily, one of the sociopaths I live with (the overt one) left. He was abusing me emotionally for coercive control. I'm now left living with the covert sociopath who abuses me emotionally whenever he feels bad (for example, when the shelter staff impose rules on him - he turns on me). I've tried reporting him to the manager whenever he broke the rules of the shelter, however they allied with him telling me "I've to tell him something". Most recently he started unplugging my extended from the socket wall leaving me without electricity to charge my phone in an attempt to hurt me. From what I've gathered so far, as advice, is to keep a journal with all the instances (date, time, details of abuse). I'm doing this, and will also take photos when it'll happen next time (he's out of the shelter sleeping at his buddies some days of the week [max allowed days out of the shelter are 2, but he leaves for more than that ; because, as he himself said "he can do anything"]). I'm looking for any other advice I can follow to tackle abuse in the homeless shelter. Once I get out, of course, (if I'll ever get out) and, if I'll have enough money for a good lawyer, I'll sue him. |
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![]() Abusedbysister, Raven1976, shovelhead
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 5,376
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#2
Hi. I am very sorry you have to endure this crap! I too, have suffered through abuse because I was stuck somewhere. And I stayed silent. Please take that advice to document every vile action towards u! I wish I would've done that for myself & pressed charges. Protect yourself. U have human rights & u are being harassed. There is also criminal harassment, which is what my abusers did to me. Stand up for your rights. That idiot is trying to get under your skin, big-time. Stand your ground & your personal space, where you're at....
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![]() Abusedbysister, cptsdvictim
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![]() Abusedbysister, cptsdvictim
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
Posts: 629
(SuperPoster!)
54 hugs
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#3
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![]() shovelhead
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 5,376
(SuperPoster!)
7 189 hugs
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#4
Emotional vampires, lmao! They sound like true idiots. Laugh right in their face & stay tough as nails. U gotta be tough when you're homeless. I have also been homeless from alcoholism. This entire world is a very tough place. But u will value all of these hard times because they are great teaching tools for your future. I'm probably older than u and I promise u will become super strong from all this constant suffering. U will laugh someday about these idiots childish antics. They're weirdos for sure..
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
Posts: 629
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#5
Emotional support like yours makes all the difference. 😊
I truly appreciate your kind words, @shovelhead . Indeed the world is a tough place, and, I'm sorry to hear you experienced homelessness due to old coping mechanisms. I'm happy that you're in a better place now. I coped by drinking in my early teens. Not drinking anymore, though the temptation to get a glass is there when under high stress. Luckily, I've been able to put it off and drink water instead, mostly by dissociating and not feeling my body. Also, alcohol wouldn't go well with my anti psychotic, haha. I understand hurt people hurt people, it's just that it's tough when it's ongoing, on an almost daily basis, and you're disabled, unable to afford housing. 😔 |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
Posts: 629
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54 hugs
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#6
In the end, I couldn't bare any more abuse (from the shelter staff and the sociopathic roommates), I decided to take to the streets. Wish me luck everyone.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
Posts: 629
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#7
So, a while after having gone back to the shelter things have been quiet for a while. Last night, however, they kept the TV on until I was woken up at 1:36am. I couldn't sleep afterwards because one of the new guys kept all the rest awake. I realized I've to make small talk with the new guy (the butcher) who kept everyone awake as he was angry that someone stole coffee powder from him, aaanndd, I suspect the other two (or one of them) blamed it on me - it wouldn't surprise me. Yeah, life in a homeless shelter for you. On the other hand, I got sick. Today I pushed through getting a huge amount of changes for my app into the working branch. 5000+ additions, almost 500 deletions. That's a lot of lines of code. Left testing anything I've missed for when I'll have the app ready for testing. The butcher guy also had heroin on him from what I heard him talking with the guy below my bed. They're building housing for people with disabilities, though I fear it's just for a few years and then they'll stop - not reaching me. If the extremists come to power after this year's elections, I can most certainly kiss goodbye to any hopes for early housing (or any housing). Probably they'll stop my disability allowance or even deport me (though I'm an EU citizen - this will require the dissolution of the EU). Having dinner now and afterwards I'll head to the shelter. Awful feeling every single time. Taking the next week off to recover from flu. Also, finished one book by Thierry Wolton. Interesting ideas in his books.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
Posts: 629
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#8
Last night, overt sociopath & addict, the butcher, came late and, of course, as always, he woke me up. Apparently, someone stole his smartphone while he was away. Another awesome day in paradise.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
Posts: 629
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#9
One more night where the covert sociopaths woke me up. These people grew up without a schedule or sleep regimen. They constantly stay up late, disturb my sleep and go to sleep when it's almost daylight. I took it pretty bluntly.
Possible trigger:
Last edited by bluekoi; May 17, 2024 at 10:30 AM.. Reason: Add trigger code. |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
Posts: 629
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54 hugs
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#10
My doctor asked me if I've
Possible trigger:
Possible trigger:
Possible trigger:
Last edited by bluekoi; May 18, 2024 at 10:35 AM.. Reason: Add trigger icon. |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
Posts: 629
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54 hugs
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#11
Last night, the butcher came back to the shelter. Surprisingly, he was quiet. Everybody was quiet and the TV was off. I managed to sleep well and my headache receded. Also, I was in huge digestive system pain last night and it went away. Note to myself: no more gluten in abundance - no more Italian food.
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Member
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 133
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#12
Quote:
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Member
Member Since Oct 2016
Location: Florida USA
Posts: 370
7 56 hugs
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#13
I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, they really do work on you and torment you. It took forever to get away from my ex, but he ended up cheating on me which he never once admitted too.. He kept telling me I was the cheater. In the end when he ghosted me, I didn't even bother to confront him, because I was glad he was gone with my life. I just wanted to focus on myself. I hope you end up getting free from him and if you want to take it court I would do so. Stand your ground and show him that your not afraid of him. Just write everything down like the person above me suggested to you. Jog everything down, details, when it happened, the time, dates, everything. Keep track of all of it. If you know anyone who witnessed it, ask them if they'd be willing to stand by you. I wish you nothing but the best. Give us updates on your situation. I wish you nothing but the best. Safe hugs.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
Posts: 629
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54 hugs
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#14
Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for the support! It's a slow grind. I tried before ending up homeless to work in a warehouse, though I was
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
Posts: 629
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#15
Slept for about 8 hours, whereas I usually need 9 or 10 to feel rested. The covert sociopath, C. D., changed rooms. I believe it's because of the overt sociopath (the butcher) - the butcher had an argument with him. Someone new replaced covert sociopath and it seems he has mental health issues (what a surprise) as he speaks loudly to himself when waking up from sleep. The butcher did
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
Posts: 629
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#16
Will try to request to change the rooms. I'd like to get away from the butcher. He's too dangerous. I lost sleep again. Last night, the new guy and the butcher both came late. The butcher woke up, intentionally, the Ukrainian (who sleeps in the bed beneath mine) and also me in the process. Fell asleep for a bit, but as one can probably imagine, I was on edge, trying to rest. This time no drugs.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
Posts: 629
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#17
I talked with staff to change rooms. I knew this was coming, but they asked what's going on. I was lucky that, on duty, there is a helpful, safe and healthy member of the staff. I tried to frame it as I'm not feeling safe, though, then, the question came: what's going on? Basically, I explained the waking up from sleep (and me, consequently) and the drug use. I was told he'll talk about it, today, with the manager. Not feeling too confident the manager will do me a favor and move me to another, better, room. The reason for this is that the covert sociopath that used to live in the same room with me and who was abusing me is his favorite in the shelter. That speaks volumes to his character.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
Posts: 629
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54 hugs
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#18
Soo, as I was posting my previous post, the shelter staff came to my room. He called me out by gesticulating, and he looked in the bathroom. He told me he spoke with the manager and that the manager will have a discussion with me on Monday. I was told to try "live my life" despite me telling the shelter staff that it's unsafe living with this man (overt sociopath, the butcher) in the same room because if you don't get close to him, he'll see you as an enemy, and, if you do get close to him he'll pull you into his drug use. Being met with gaslighting speaks volumes to the fact that they tolerate such people in shelters which confirms what I wrote all along here: the shelter is unsafe, as a whole. And it's one of the best out there. Will see on Monday what can be done, though I suspect the answer will be: "I don't have a room to move you to right now."
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
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#19
Might have made a mistake reporting the issues to the shelter staff as I was asked why the Ukrainian sleeping under me gets woken up by the butcher at night. If they (shelter staff) interview him, then the butcher will find out which means he can track me (between me and the new guy) which can lead to retaliation, including death by a gang he's involved with. Pretty tight situation: not go to the shelter staff and potentially become a victim by the dynamics in the room, go to shelter staff and become a victim of direct retaliation. If C-PTSD would've been in the DSM and there would be laws protecting individuals (truly, via prevention) then I wouldn't have been in this situation. In lack of this, they (shelter staff) resort to gaslight me when I'm telling them the dynamics involved. Also, not nice to have preferential treatment in the shelter with covert sociopath, C. D., being their favorite and granting him room changes as he pleases. Living the dream.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: Earth
Posts: 629
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#20
Listened to Why Some Homeless Choose The Streets Over Shelters : NPR
12 years have passed since then and not much changed. Disgusting. Refreshing to hear some made it. And sickening to hear how many die a year due to hypothermia. Numbers where I live approach the figure in the US stated at the time the recording took place. |
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