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cptsdvictim
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Trig Apr 04, 2024 at 12:20 AM
  #1
I live in s homeless shelter in a room with four beds. Two of which, at the time of writing this, are empty and expecting inhabitants. We'll see who turns up, though I don't have high expectations.

Luckily, one of the sociopaths I live with (the overt one) left. He was abusing me emotionally for coercive control. I'm now left living with the covert sociopath who abuses me emotionally whenever he feels bad (for example, when the shelter staff impose rules on him - he turns on me). I've tried reporting him to the manager whenever he broke the rules of the shelter, however they allied with him telling me "I've to tell him something".
Most recently he started unplugging my extended from the socket wall leaving me without electricity to charge my phone in an attempt to hurt me.

From what I've gathered so far, as advice, is to keep a journal with all the instances (date, time, details of abuse). I'm doing this, and will also take photos when it'll happen next time (he's out of the shelter sleeping at his buddies some days of the week [max allowed days out of the shelter are 2, but he leaves for more than that ; because, as he himself said "he can do anything"]).

I'm looking for any other advice I can follow to tackle abuse in the homeless shelter. Once I get out, of course, (if I'll ever get out) and, if I'll have enough money for a good lawyer, I'll sue him.
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Default Apr 04, 2024 at 11:56 AM
  #2
Hi. I am very sorry you have to endure this crap! I too, have suffered through abuse because I was stuck somewhere. And I stayed silent. Please take that advice to document every vile action towards u! I wish I would've done that for myself & pressed charges. Protect yourself. U have human rights & u are being harassed. There is also criminal harassment, which is what my abusers did to me. Stand up for your rights. That idiot is trying to get under your skin, big-time. Stand your ground & your personal space, where you're at....
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Default Apr 05, 2024 at 02:31 PM
  #3
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Originally Posted by shovelhead View Post
Hi. I am very sorry you have to endure this crap! I too, have suffered through abuse because I was stuck somewhere. And I stayed silent. Please take that advice to document every vile action towards u! I wish I would've done that for myself & pressed charges. Protect yourself. U have human rights & u are being harassed. There is also criminal harassment, which is what my abusers did to me. Stand up for your rights. That idiot is trying to get under your skin, big-time. Stand your ground & your personal space, where you're at....
Thank you so much for your support, @shovelhead . And sorry you have gone through abuse. Indeed I'm keeping a log of date, time and details of abuse of each incident. He's trying to coerce me into submission so he can ask me for money and such. However, I'm standing my ground. I'm not talking to him and he knows there's no point in trying, that's why he resorts to these abusive tactics. I once went to a support group and they gaslight me into saying they're not sociopaths, just emotional vampires. That's pretty much it for victims of abuse in homelessness and human rights. In a country in Western Europe. 😕
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Default Apr 06, 2024 at 12:42 PM
  #4
Emotional vampires, lmao! They sound like true idiots. Laugh right in their face & stay tough as nails. U gotta be tough when you're homeless. I have also been homeless from alcoholism. This entire world is a very tough place. But u will value all of these hard times because they are great teaching tools for your future. I'm probably older than u and I promise u will become super strong from all this constant suffering. U will laugh someday about these idiots childish antics. They're weirdos for sure..
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Default Apr 06, 2024 at 01:58 PM
  #5
Emotional support like yours makes all the difference. 😊
I truly appreciate your kind words, @shovelhead .

Indeed the world is a tough place, and, I'm sorry to hear you experienced homelessness due to old coping mechanisms. I'm happy that you're in a better place now. I coped by drinking in my early teens. Not drinking anymore, though the temptation to get a glass is there when under high stress. Luckily, I've been able to put it off and drink water instead, mostly by dissociating and not feeling my body. Also, alcohol wouldn't go well with my anti psychotic, haha.

I understand hurt people hurt people, it's just that it's tough when it's ongoing, on an almost daily basis, and you're disabled, unable to afford housing. 😔
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Default Apr 09, 2024 at 09:30 AM
  #6
In the end, I couldn't bare any more abuse (from the shelter staff and the sociopathic roommates), I decided to take to the streets. Wish me luck everyone.
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Default May 03, 2024 at 10:51 AM
  #7
So, a while after having gone back to the shelter things have been quiet for a while. Last night, however, they kept the TV on until I was woken up at 1:36am. I couldn't sleep afterwards because one of the new guys kept all the rest awake. I realized I've to make small talk with the new guy (the butcher) who kept everyone awake as he was angry that someone stole coffee powder from him, aaanndd, I suspect the other two (or one of them) blamed it on me - it wouldn't surprise me. Yeah, life in a homeless shelter for you. On the other hand, I got sick. Today I pushed through getting a huge amount of changes for my app into the working branch. 5000+ additions, almost 500 deletions. That's a lot of lines of code. Left testing anything I've missed for when I'll have the app ready for testing. The butcher guy also had heroin on him from what I heard him talking with the guy below my bed. They're building housing for people with disabilities, though I fear it's just for a few years and then they'll stop - not reaching me. If the extremists come to power after this year's elections, I can most certainly kiss goodbye to any hopes for early housing (or any housing). Probably they'll stop my disability allowance or even deport me (though I'm an EU citizen - this will require the dissolution of the EU). Having dinner now and afterwards I'll head to the shelter. Awful feeling every single time. Taking the next week off to recover from flu. Also, finished one book by Thierry Wolton. Interesting ideas in his books.
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Default May 15, 2024 at 06:38 AM
  #8
Last night, overt sociopath & addict, the butcher, came late and, of course, as always, he woke me up. Apparently, someone stole his smartphone while he was away. Another awesome day in paradise.
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Default May 17, 2024 at 07:18 AM
  #9
One more night where the covert sociopaths woke me up. These people grew up without a schedule or sleep regimen. They constantly stay up late, disturb my sleep and go to sleep when it's almost daylight. I took it pretty bluntly.
Possible trigger:
From saving these past two weeks while I was sick I had some spare money. Decided to treat myself with an Italian meal at an Italian restaurant. Pretty expensive, though haven't been in ages. Left a pretty hefty tip despite the waiter being narcissistic. Now I'm eating a vegan brownie and will have a decaf oat latte afterwards. Suicide thoughts still persist. Too... Much... Pain. I'm very sensitive to food and sleep.

Last edited by bluekoi; May 17, 2024 at 10:30 AM.. Reason: Add trigger code.
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Trig May 17, 2024 at 10:59 AM
  #10
My doctor asked me if I've
Possible trigger:
last time we've met. I answered in the positive but that I'd need money to carry it out. In recent times however, I came to a different method that would require none. It does involve being out and about, however, which increases chances of being stopped by other people in the pursuit of going through with it.
Possible trigger:
. My idea that I'll resume work and focus on my app again next week and I want to wait and see how it'll pan out is what keeps me alive at this moment. Will see how it goes. If it fails,
Possible trigger:

Last edited by bluekoi; May 18, 2024 at 10:35 AM.. Reason: Add trigger icon.
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Default May 18, 2024 at 12:57 AM
  #11
Last night, the butcher came back to the shelter. Surprisingly, he was quiet. Everybody was quiet and the TV was off. I managed to sleep well and my headache receded. Also, I was in huge digestive system pain last night and it went away. Note to myself: no more gluten in abundance - no more Italian food.
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Default May 20, 2024 at 11:25 AM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by cptsdvictim View Post
I live in s homeless shelter in a room with four beds. Two of which, at the time of writing this, are empty and expecting inhabitants. We'll see who turns up, though I don't have high expectations.

Luckily, one of the sociopaths I live with (the overt one) left. He was abusing me emotionally for coercive control. I'm now left living with the covert sociopath who abuses me emotionally whenever he feels bad (for example, when the shelter staff impose rules on him - he turns on me). I've tried reporting him to the manager whenever he broke the rules of the shelter, however they allied with him telling me "I've to tell him something".
Most recently he started unplugging my extended from the socket wall leaving me without electricity to charge my phone in an attempt to hurt me.

From what I've gathered so far, as advice, is to keep a journal with all the instances (date, time, details of abuse). I'm doing this, and will also take photos when it'll happen next time (he's out of the shelter sleeping at his buddies some days of the week [max allowed days out of the shelter are 2, but he leaves for more than that ; because, as he himself said "he can do anything"]).

I'm looking for any other advice I can follow to tackle abuse in the homeless shelter. Once I get out, of course, (if I'll ever get out) and, if I'll have enough money for a good lawyer, I'll sue him.
I am really sorry for your ordeal. I know how it is to feel trapped with someone who you cannot escape. I used to share a bedroom with my abusive, bullying little sister who used and abused me like a slave. Please keep details of the abuse in the journal (as you are doing) and try to find allies who would witness the abuse and they can help you get a better chance of convincing the shelter staff. I wish you luck.
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Default May 20, 2024 at 11:55 AM
  #13
I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, they really do work on you and torment you. It took forever to get away from my ex, but he ended up cheating on me which he never once admitted too.. He kept telling me I was the cheater. In the end when he ghosted me, I didn't even bother to confront him, because I was glad he was gone with my life. I just wanted to focus on myself. I hope you end up getting free from him and if you want to take it court I would do so. Stand your ground and show him that your not afraid of him. Just write everything down like the person above me suggested to you. Jog everything down, details, when it happened, the time, dates, everything. Keep track of all of it. If you know anyone who witnessed it, ask them if they'd be willing to stand by you. I wish you nothing but the best. Give us updates on your situation. I wish you nothing but the best. Safe hugs.
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Default May 22, 2024 at 06:36 AM
  #14
Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for the support! It's a slow grind. I tried before ending up homeless to work in a warehouse, though I was
Possible trigger:
. So I quit after a week. The only thing I know is computer programming, though this takes a long time and investment to show results. It's just that living with difficult people makes life so unbearable. Lately, it has been quiet and I'm getting some progress with my project. I hope by the end of the year to have a functional bare minimum implementation. If so, I'll be able to look for sponsors and get it started. Hanging as best as I can. Though, sometimes, I seriously contemplate
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. The last time it happened still lingers remnants around of the ideation and the impulse to do it.
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Default May 23, 2024 at 11:46 PM
  #15
Slept for about 8 hours, whereas I usually need 9 or 10 to feel rested. The covert sociopath, C. D., changed rooms. I believe it's because of the overt sociopath (the butcher) - the butcher had an argument with him. Someone new replaced covert sociopath and it seems he has mental health issues (what a surprise) as he speaks loudly to himself when waking up from sleep. The butcher did
Possible trigger:
again in the bathroom. I wonder if they'll call me to their office again, expecting me to tell them who it was doing drugs (of course, for my safety I'm keeping shut - they're totally unprepared in dealing with abuse; doesn't surprise me as they themselves abuse: the awesome cycle of abuse). It's almost 6am, and thankfully, after not going to sleep the entire night, I think the butcher goes to sleep. Just in time for when I start my own routine at 6:15am. Yesterday I had a really good day and towards the end I was feeling unease - turned out it was valid. There's a risk that, if they find drugs but not the culprit, to kick all of us from the room out. That'd be terrible as I don't know if there's any other shelter with lockers in the hallway where the cameras are.
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Default May 25, 2024 at 12:03 AM
  #16
Will try to request to change the rooms. I'd like to get away from the butcher. He's too dangerous. I lost sleep again. Last night, the new guy and the butcher both came late. The butcher woke up, intentionally, the Ukrainian (who sleeps in the bed beneath mine) and also me in the process. Fell asleep for a bit, but as one can probably imagine, I was on edge, trying to rest. This time no drugs.
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Default May 25, 2024 at 03:09 AM
  #17
I talked with staff to change rooms. I knew this was coming, but they asked what's going on. I was lucky that, on duty, there is a helpful, safe and healthy member of the staff. I tried to frame it as I'm not feeling safe, though, then, the question came: what's going on? Basically, I explained the waking up from sleep (and me, consequently) and the drug use. I was told he'll talk about it, today, with the manager. Not feeling too confident the manager will do me a favor and move me to another, better, room. The reason for this is that the covert sociopath that used to live in the same room with me and who was abusing me is his favorite in the shelter. That speaks volumes to his character.
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Default May 25, 2024 at 03:16 AM
  #18
Soo, as I was posting my previous post, the shelter staff came to my room. He called me out by gesticulating, and he looked in the bathroom. He told me he spoke with the manager and that the manager will have a discussion with me on Monday. I was told to try "live my life" despite me telling the shelter staff that it's unsafe living with this man (overt sociopath, the butcher) in the same room because if you don't get close to him, he'll see you as an enemy, and, if you do get close to him he'll pull you into his drug use. Being met with gaslighting speaks volumes to the fact that they tolerate such people in shelters which confirms what I wrote all along here: the shelter is unsafe, as a whole. And it's one of the best out there. Will see on Monday what can be done, though I suspect the answer will be: "I don't have a room to move you to right now."
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Default May 25, 2024 at 03:44 AM
  #19
Might have made a mistake reporting the issues to the shelter staff as I was asked why the Ukrainian sleeping under me gets woken up by the butcher at night. If they (shelter staff) interview him, then the butcher will find out which means he can track me (between me and the new guy) which can lead to retaliation, including death by a gang he's involved with. Pretty tight situation: not go to the shelter staff and potentially become a victim by the dynamics in the room, go to shelter staff and become a victim of direct retaliation. If C-PTSD would've been in the DSM and there would be laws protecting individuals (truly, via prevention) then I wouldn't have been in this situation. In lack of this, they (shelter staff) resort to gaslight me when I'm telling them the dynamics involved. Also, not nice to have preferential treatment in the shelter with covert sociopath, C. D., being their favorite and granting him room changes as he pleases. Living the dream.
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Default May 25, 2024 at 08:53 AM
  #20
Listened to Why Some Homeless Choose The Streets Over Shelters : NPR

12 years have passed since then and not much changed. Disgusting. Refreshing to hear some made it. And sickening to hear how many die a year due to hypothermia. Numbers where I live approach the figure in the US stated at the time the recording took place.
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