[Raven1976]

Trigger Warning****** (Graphic detail of sexual abuse)

I’m at a loss for what to do. I used to be married and the day before I had this flashback I had been thinking about things my ex husband and I used to do. I received or*l from him. The next morning I had a flash of me receiving or*l but I of course could only see nose up but I got an instant gut feeling that it was my father. I’ve been suspicious of my father for various reasons for many years so that’s always on my mind as well. I guess it is possible I meshed thinking about and remembering what my ex and I used to do with feelings about my dad. I don’t know. Should I trust my gut that it was my dad even though I couldn’t identify his face? Or say I don’t have enough to know. What would you do?

[TheGal]

I'm so sorry for you .. it must be so unsettling to have had this thought/flashback.

I don't know what I'd do, but seek therapy...

[VabGirl]

Seeking therapy is a good idea. Memories like that can be faulty. Dont jump to blaming your dad.

[cptsdvictim]

I was sexually abused by my father. And, as a child, one night, I also pretended to be asleep and saw him naked (he came to kiss me; most probably after having sex with my mother). I have the same feeling like you (of dirtiness, at the hands of my father) though I don't think it's a real memory (like him giving me or*l). Only the CSA is true (f*ndling at the age of 3). Though, as others said, it's probably best to address it with a psychotherapist that specializes in trauma (specifically, childhood relational trauma, if possible).