[Cantholdmyrage]

I stumbled upon a question from Quora which asked: “Why do my parents think I’m a kid? I’m 19, they don’t trust me, they’re always checking on me, never talk to me about the “adult” stuff (dating, paying the taxes etc) … They think I’m a little girl but I know about life more than they do”

Here were some of the answers:

“I beg to differ you may know more about the teen life but they kno so much more. Here’s what you ont see. They will always think of you as their baby, and will trade at you as a kid until you start doing more adult things besides hanging out with friends. They are teaching you for a lifetime not until you are 18 so they feel like they are not ready to er you as grown. But you can fix this. Write your mom a letter about your concerns ask her if she can include you in adult stuff but.. if she does you might not like it because if there are bills to be paid you might not want to help pay them? Or you may not understand just how serious something is when it’s voiced as a problem or concern. There is a lot to adulting that teens don’t understand”

“Be patient. One day you will look back fondly at how your parents loved you. Remember this when you become a parent and think how it was for you. Then also remember how it must feel for them.”

“if you really knew much it would not be an issue for you”

In short people were dismissive of the young woman’s struggle to being accepted as an adult. They love to dismiss the knowledge of life that teens and young adults who were taught by their family or their own experiences. They also love to sugarcoat infantilization of adult children by insisting “get used to it, one day, you’ll look back and regret your own decisions and realize your parents actually know best”. Aka “teenagers are stupid and such know-it-all’s, so disrespectful towards their parents for even daring to have a voice” kind of age discrimination.

Another comment from another Quora post who stated her boyfriend was forcing her to marry him and she was afraid of telling her parents, fearing they will “destroy her life” said:

“how old are you to say “parents destroy my life” are you not old enough to understand that no parent in the world would destroy their child’s life,,,, you sound like pre-teen age…”

More infantilization here. Also victim blaming. “You’re too young to understand that no parent wants to destroy their children’s lives, you’re such a preteen, where do you learn all these words? Entitled Gen Alpha”

I know what you’re thinking: why do you keep looking up stupid questions on Quora and get offended by the answers, why can’t you just stop? I don’t expect answers like these to be the majority but unfortunately they are.

And it’s sad. Loving your own children is fine, but treating them like little babies at adulthood is a problem. Also there are people who will claim that child abuse is talked about too much and that children are just as likely to abuse their parents and act disrespectful and toxic towards them. While I don’t deny any of that, this is just a whataboutism which dismisses important topics.

I apologize if I’m getting off-topic. Just want to get this off my chest.