has anyone's abuser ever encouraged other people to abuse them?

I have known people like this in the past

people who are like well, I'm going to get everyone I know to abuse you too, because I'm doing it and it's cool

no. no it isn't. it really isn't.. it just makes it worse than it all ready is

This is why people who grow up in abusive families often marry abusers. My first husband slapped me, made fun of me, belittled me, forcefully tickled me while holding me down to prevent me from getting away, and controlled everything about me. He was a “women belong in the kitchen” man, and he also told me every move to make while I was in there. It was do it his way, or it was wrong.

My family loved him. Thought he was a great guy. Of course, they treated me the same way.

I was abused by more than one person and during the actual abuse they encouraged .....each other..... at that moment.

but no I didnt have abusers that threatened to tell someone else they were abusing me because they thought it was cool.

I had abusers that stood by the abusers/ grooming code of "do not tell or else"

I think if after threatening me with the "do not tell or else" and they tell me something like they the abuser was gonig to tell others, I probably would have told them fine go ahead for even as a child I knew if anyone found out the abuse would end, and the abusers would go to prison.

my abusers did end up getting caught even without their telling on their self or my violating the "do not tell or else" abusers code.

but thinking about it now, my thoughts.....wouldnt that have been wonderful for me if they had told on their self lol the abuse would have ended much sooner than it did. just saying for me I would have found that to be icing on the cake, their telling on their self and getting arrested.

yup if they had said something like that to me I probably would have said "go ahead" and accept the consequences for sassing back lol and then sit back and watch them get arrested because they told on theirself.

I've encountered sociopaths who would build alliances between them (I live in the same room, in a homeless shelter with two of them that do just that). Usually, abusers have enablers.

My mom got my young adult brother to beat me in my early teens over telling a teacher I was feeling distressed. This of course triggered my mom into a rage because she had to talk to the teacher and it made her look bad.

Sociopath/ narcissistic people tend to pull this kind of ******** on people.

When my mother died, they gave control to my brother so he could exclude me from attending her cremation because they were “concerned” I’d have an outburst. They projected their poor behaviour onto me and my family happily stuck by with him claiming I was mistreating them for questioning them. They accused me of lying about the abuse and pretty much of lying especially if it involved needing feedback from dealing with a difficult person. They would flip the table and accuse me of being difficult and of lying.

I often felt left to deal with difficult situations alone.

The other thing they’d do (mom, brother and other family) is smear me to everyone. I remember my mom claimed she would lie and get away with it.

After my mom died they accused me of being exactly like my mother and then basically lied about some things I did, and only seemed to engage when they wanted to provoke a reaction.

You cannot reason with people like that. More importantly you can’t point out their toxic patterns because they will devolve into an immature rage that can have unfortunate consequences.

My aunt claimed I harassed her and said she was going to charge me with harassment over questioning their behaviour yet she literally harassed and tried to provoke a response.

I guess they needed to keep the narrative going that I’m the toxic one, instead of giving me space to heal and grieve from the maltreatment.

It’s like they feared not having someone to dump on when my mom died.

Yes, my little sister loved to beat me up in front of cousins and neighborhood kids to humiliate me. Sine they didn’t want to mess with her and wanted to be in her good books, they would cheer for her while I was getting my *** kicked by her. Then, when they would pick on me for being a sissy, wuss, loser, and losing fights to my little sister, she would encourage them to beat me up, especially if I tried to answer back verbally to their verbal abuse.

Yeah. My dad said and did some stuff to me when I was young, and brought me to a neighbor I'm pretty sure he knew was abusing me, although I don't know if he encouraged in, but he let it happen regardless. He gave me only downers and frequently brought a bad crowd in the place. Taught me how to get drugs without money, and that unfortunately stuck with me/came back in times of active addiction) if that counts too.

I had an ex that started fighting me with a group of his friends, friends joined in, and one that I was close to said he said if anything goes down with my bytch, you gotta bring "the psycho" down. Don't remember if that was the exact words, but I do remember the word psycho being used.

A lot of times though I got myself in these situations and made them worse though. If I had any common sense and a sense of agency most of this wouldn't have happened.

Yes my *boss* abuser used to make it known that they could gain favor with him by throwing me under the bus. It didn't even matter if the allegations were true.