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Raven1976
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Trig Jun 03, 2024 at 01:44 PM
  #1
I’m going to name the things my parents did. Could you tell me if it’s covert sexual abuse?

Trigger Warning*****

1) My dad gave me a forced kiss and for some reason 30 + years I had a flashback about it. The kiss was like you are going to do this but I don’t know the context.I was under 11.
2) When I was 10 my father told me that my mother would not have sex with him.
3) Age 13 my mother made fun of my developing breasts in front of my older male cousin. Saying she could see them through my bathing suit when she was responsible for making sure I had one that actually fit properly.
4) Age 16 my mother came in while I was changing and told me my breasts looked like eyes and my p***y was fat. And she used to come in while I was showering and act like she was going to pinch my butt. She would also tell me the reason my boyfriend was with me was because I had big breasts.
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Exclamation Jun 03, 2024 at 02:05 PM
  #2
Definitely sexual abuse in my opinion.

I'm sorry you were treated this way ...

It wasn't okay for them to say and do these things to you!

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Default Jun 03, 2024 at 03:09 PM
  #3
Yeah. And not so covert, almost more overt.
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Default Jun 15, 2024 at 01:02 PM
  #4
All of those things cross massive boundaries into wildly inappropriate. I am so sorry you endured it.

1. Forcing children to be affectionate with adults used to be more common than it is now. It used to be considered misbehavior and/or lack of cooperation if they wouldn't willingly sit on Grandpa's lap, or go give Aunt Betty a kiss hello. Just because it was common doesn't mean it was right, or healthy.
2. No child of any age, including adults, needs to know about their parents' intimate activities in the bedroom. Children need sex education, yes, but not specific details about what their parents do and don't do behind closed doors. And they should be confiding their problems to a trained professional, not to their children.
3. Your mother's comments about your body changes would have been inappropriate even if you were alone with her. Even more so in front of anyone at all. Male cousin, older or younger, just makes it that much worse. And you're right about her being responsible for making sure you had a properly fitting bathing suit.
4. Making fun of your private body parts at 16. What is your mother's problem? That is utterly disgusting.

Again I am so sorry you had to deal with this.
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