Not Sure How I Should Feel

The individual who was the architect of my CSA when I was going to college preparing for the military. In the summertime, I would be home, at my father's house, where all this junk had happened. I volunteered for the local County Sheriff's Department as an auxiliary police officer. It was an unpaid position, but it wasn't three weeks before I was offered a full-time job in the summer. I was sent to a city close to here for an eight-week police academy. I knew where this individual was, with some of his cronies. I could not in good conscience allow others to continue to get chewed up as I did. I went and spoke to the local Chief of Police of the town where they were. It did not take very long before they were arrested, and this guy got twenty-five years in prison. He finally did it, got out and, assaulted his half-brother's son, was sent back. I learned today he died of a heart attack in prison. This individual cost so much dearly. I spoke on the phone today with a couple who are still alive. They are celebratory over this fact. I cannot be how one celebrates the end of another person, even if they wronged you. I am looking forward to my telephone appointment with my psychologist today.

@16PennyNail I agree there is no reason for rejoicing at others mistakes and misfortunes. I do not condone that person's behavior but I do not label them as inherently evil. I see the disturbing emotions they experienced and acted on as the real enemy, not the person.

When I think of myself in a fit of rage, I am dimly aware that I could do terrible deeds if I acted on this feeling because it totally blocks out my reason and ehtical conscience. I embody the anger. The only difference between me and him is he lived in it and I kicked their back end out of my head.

CANDC

Keep us posted. I hope things work out