Embarassing to Post

I had thought about it before, but I just had a long sleep slumber. This is almost ridiculous, but I'm unsure how to talk to a therapist about it, as this is the most pathetic thing of all time. Out of that nonsense, I came out as a kid when I got

until about the age of 14. Genetics had slotted me, like my grandfather and father, to be a big man. It was enough, combined with my father enrolling me into TTJC martial arts, and I became a tournament fighter. The guys bothering

everyone left me alone. I guess they were worried that it could quickly become disadvantageous. This probably impressed them, as anyone who did cross paths with me did not fare well. This did not mean I was hostile. I would just defend myself like mad. As that happened, there were smaller kids in the neighborhood.

They learned my home was a safe harbor, which was no bother to me. Oddly, one who showed up with the same first name as me was four years older than me. We did not start out as friends. This place was equally hostile to everyone, so he came to me and apologized as I had outgrown him in the growth spurt people of that age get. I am good-natured and have already found my belief system.

so I actually began to protect this individual. He had done me terribly but was sophisticated enough to see the writing on the wall about that place. It was bad
for all of us. I am, supposedly friends with this person today. Yet when he comes
around me is wants money or asks for medication. He is a registered drug-seeking behavior flagged in the digital prescription system of my state. I took an

oath to do no harm. I give him money and know I should not. I am at home
hospice care and he can get about being able to work. It isn't the fact I am stingy or don't have resources. He knows I have difficulty saying no, especially if

someone is in need. This individual has been a thorn in my side since we came here when I was 5. I am now 53, and he takes advantage of my good nature under the guise of being a friend. I won't write him any more prescriptions; he

can see a practicing doctor for that. I need my medications, and a nurse is taking care of them now. He still hits me for money. So, I am someone who is rendering aid to someone who started out abusing me and has since I came back to this

area. Until I was 14, he began asking for help and has never stopped. He is BPD and unmedicated. Oh, at times, I have given him money to see a doctor. Now, I will call a friend I know who is still practicing and arrange for them to see him. He

never goes, so this has been an almost lifelong thing. I wish this individual would just go away. Where was it written I was supposed to care for someone who was physically predatory to me when they could be? As soon as they could not do

that they became predatory in every other way. I try to be understanding as I know what it was like growing up in that horror. I know what the therapists will say, tell him to buzz off. It is frustrating, and I feel sorry for someone who was that way to me. What is wrong with me?

There is nothing wrong with you ...

You have a kind heart, & don't want to hurt anybody.

Finding a way to step back from relationships that no longer benefit us isn't easy.

As my health deteriorates, though, I'm learning to draw the line ...

Especially if the relationship is a drain on what little precious energy I have left.

I've gotten to the point I'll say, "I'm sorry, but I'm not feeling up for a visit right now."

It's a simple way to look out for yourself without being hurtful or offensive to the other party.

I hope you're able to find something similar that works for you ...

The last thing we need at this stage is unnecessary (& unwanted) drama.